Goodbye for now || n.h

Chapter 25

For a moment I just sat there, tears streaming down my face but my body felt numb. I couldn't really comprehend what was going on, or my mind didn't want to believe it.

Dakota is dying.

I violently cried for about ten minutes, Dakota still in another room. Every time I thought it was over, new tears built up in my eyes and I started crying all over again. It felt like I was having a panic attack because I had trouble breathing after a while.

Then I eventually calmed down. I was sitting on the floor, back leaning against the bed with my head between my knees, trying to breathe properly. After a couple of minutes of just calming down, I stood up and left the room.

I gently pushed the door open to the kids' room, seeing her sitting next to Jamie's bed. She was carefully stroking his little head while he was still asleep. I could hear her quietly sobbing and talking to him.

"You be a good boy and protect your sister. Promise to do your homework and make tons of friends. Ask someone to prom and treat him or her good. Don't miss mommy too much, okay?" She whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

My heart ached by the view.

"Dakota?" My voice broke a little, but I didn't care.

She quickly looked over to the door, wiping away her tears and standing up.

"Let's go to bed."

She nodded and walked over to me. I didn't say anything else, just went back to the bedroom and undressed before lying down. Dakota didn't say anything either, just carefully laid down beside me.

We were quiet for a while and I tried not to start crying again. Eventually she spoke.

"You wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

"Okay."

She turned towards me, nudging my arm so I would move it. I obeyed and she crawled closer, resting on my chest as I started rubbing her back with my hand.

"I'm scared." She mumbled after a while.

"Me too." I kissed her head. "Me too."

"Can we wait to tell the kids, maybe just a couple of days? I don't want them to think I'm some kind of sick freak."

"Of course." I told her, voice breaking again.

We didn't spoke after that. Eventually she fell asleep in my arms, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I was already having nightmares.

I carefully got out of bed, leaving her there to rest some more. New tears started filling my eyes as I approached the closet. Her box with letters was visible, so I picked it up and carried it with me to the living room. I sat down in the couch and opened it, looking down at several letters. Some of them were new, but some of them were old.

For Jamie's 18th birthday

For Taylor's 18th birthday

Read this when you're feeling happy

When the kids learns to read

Open this on their first day of school

Read this when you feel weak

Read this when you miss me

For when dad meets someone new

For Taylor's wedding day