Falsettos One Shots

Jason Has Three FUCKING DADS

Ms. Brown turned her evil glare up to 11, her usually soft, crystal blue eyes seeming to turn into an iron cold gray which almost made Jason squirm in his seat. Almost. He had just enough experience from his mother's looks to fight it.

"Is there any reason I'm here?" he asked, turning to make his eyes shine in that innocent and cute way that he always exploited.

Ms. Brown's wrinkly lips pursed tightly. "This is no laughing matter," she said sternly, her voice almost as cold as her eyes. "You know why you're here, and there's no way you're charming your way out of this. Biting people is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE."

"Hey he had it coming!" Jason defended. "No one kicks better than me at kickball! My dads say I'm the best in the family! All of them! But noooo, that silly new Mormon had to let that smug grin stretch across his pasty face!"

"Your case is incredibly one sided," the principal said. "Your father will be here shortly to discuss why this is an absolutely awful thing."

Jason tilted his head, confused. "Which one?"

Now it was Ms. Brown's turn to be confused. "What do you me--"

The office door opening cut off the old woman. "Sorry I'm so late, ma'am," the short man said, his brow dripping with sweat. "Had a little fashion crisis. Too many sweaters to choose from. Had to go with the bee one, of course. BUT, anyway, to the subject at hand."

The man plopped himself down on the chair next to Jason. Ms. Brown's confused, dazed expression only grew from there. "You must be Jason's father," she said, it sounding more of a question than a mere statement.

The man laughed. "Well, I wouldn't quite say that," he said, a warm, comforting smile making his face light up like a ray of handsome sunshine. "I'm his stepfather."

"Oh," Ms. Brown's face turned a little pale, the same question tone lingering. "Well, um, like you said, back to the matter at hand. Jason did something very naughty today, and it is very necessary that we--"

Once again, the office door opening interrupted the woman, and this time, she was reasonably annoyed, but she desperately tried to hide it. She failed epically. "Um, who are you?" she asked, her anger starting to boil like a paper mache volcano. "This is a private meeting."

"Jason is my son," the very tall, sexy man said. "I have business being here, thank you very much, asshole."

The older woman had a private eye roll. "At least I know where he gets his awful language," she mumbled. Then, louder, "As much as I find your name calling demeaning, let's just continue with the reason you're here."

"Sounds good," he said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them together. "Let's rumble." He looked over at Mendel. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you had a fashion crisis. You texted Marvin! HE TOLD ME HIMSELF!"

Mendel chuckled nervously. "Well, it was easily solved. Now, please--"

"ENOUGH!" Ms. Brown bellowed, her voice roaring like a fierce lion. She looks at the second man. "You, sit. Now. Jason has been a naughty boy and your childish antics aren't helping! NOW PLEASE, LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR."

The second man sighed and raised his hands, as if to defend himself. "Okay, okay," he said, carefully sliding into a chair on the other side of Jason. "Let's get this over with."

Ms. Brown took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Thank you, sir," she said, still steadily breathing so she could try to restrain from exploding again. "NOW, Jason. He did a very naughty thing. He...bit another child."

The bee sweater wearing stepfather, named Mendel, turned a deathly white. "Oh dear," he stuttered. He looked at Jason, utterly flabbergasted at his behavior. "Jason, why would you do that? I..I just can't with you!"

Jason quickly looked at him, but quickly shifted his gaze to the dirty, smelly tile floor. He couldn't stand his stepfather's pure shock and disappointed look. This soon changed, when the sexy one, named Whizzer, spoke.

"Haha, that's amazing!" he yelled, playfully punching Jason's shoulder. "How hard did you do it, buddy?"

Jason looked up and smiled, his yellow, yet adorable teeth shining. He loved Whizzer so much, getting in trouble with him was impossible. The excitement was exterminated by Ms. Brown though. Her glare brought Whizzer and Jason's grins sliding right off their faces and on to the floor.

Whizzer blushed his usual adorable bright pink. "Sorry, ma'am," he said quietly. "Please continue explaining this despeciable act."

Ms. Brown sighed again, not to comfort herself, but to express her stress. This was going awful. In fact, it was becoming one of the most ierrating day of her entire career, and she once tried to console a silly clown named Bubbles.

"I will, just shut your traps for a moment," she said, her phony smile still plastered on her face like an awful badge. "Now, to finish this up. The child is mostly okay, just a little blood, but that doesn't make it any better. Biting is biting, and breaking rules is breaking rules. And I think there might have been a...secret motive to this attack."

Mendel raised an eyebrow. "Hm, tell us please."

Ms. Brown opened her lipstick covered lips, but as soon as she started to say the first syllable, the office door opened and shut with a loud slam. This was getting really silly. This third man, unlike the other two, looked very normal and seemed almost as angry as the principal. His stringy hair covered part of his stress filled mossy green eyes.

"Ugh, so sorry I'm so late," he said, his worn out briefcase in hand. "Traffic was absolutely brutal. Well, that and I saw a taco truck and Jason knows how I get around tacos..."

Ms. Brown's nostrils flared. "Just sit," she barked. "Now. There are more chairs outside the room."

"What do you mean more chai--" he starts. Then, he sees the other two. "Really?!" he exclaims. "What the heck are you two doing here?! MENDEL, you said you had a fashion disaster! AND WHIZZER, Youuuuu said there was a cute boy in the bookstore you had to chase!"

The two others responded at the same time, both exasperated.

"THE FASHION DISASTER WAS SOLVED BY THIS BEE!"

"THE GUY WAS A TREKKIE! YOU KNOW HOW THEY MAKE ME FEEL!"

Marvin frowned. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO! JASON, COME ON. WE'RE HEADING HOME. MS. BROWN, I'M SO SORRY FOR THIS! IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, TRUST ME. YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF HE EVEN SHOWS UP TO SCHOOL ALIVE AGAIN."

Jason slowly rises from his chair, only to be quickly yanked up by the third man and dragged out of the room. The three others sat awkwardly behind in the burnt coffee smelling office.

The clock slowly tick tocked, making the awkward air even more unbearable.

"We're just gonna go," Mendel says, sweating a little more.

"Yeah, um, sorry about the kid," Whizzer said, rising and stumbling a little. "I hope he doesn't bleed too much. Yeah...GOODBYE!"

The two bolted out of the door, screaming and shoving as they tripped over each other.

Ms. Brown sighed one last time as she rubbed her temples. "Thank God that's over," she breathed. "Now I really need a drink."

She opened the secret compartment in her desk and pulled out the vodka bottle. Popping it open, she drank a huge sip. "Ahh, that's good. Almost made that hell worth living through."

And with that, his dads were never called to the office again.