Coming Out

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TRIGGER WARNING: HOMOPHOBIA AND HOMOPHOBIC SLURS 

The dinner was quiet. Awkwardness loomed over every single person as they scraped their forks on their plates to grab some of the awful food Marvin's mother had made. 

Not a word was spoken. This was typical for a Turner meal, complete silence and nothing but sort of angry and timid glances, glares, and grimaces. Usually, Marvin Turner, the only child in the household, aged 14, liked this, some might even say enjoyed, which was strange to say the least, but today, he had something he planned to say. And it was killing him. 

Worry rumbled in his stomach, making it seem like the acid was bubbling wildly like a pot of boiling water. His palms were sweaty and red, the strange coloring from his sweaty palm gripping the fork too hard. 

"I...I have something to say," Marvin managed to stutter out, his eyes on his plate. 

"Look up, boy," his father snapped. "Chin up, like a man. If you have something to say, you have to look important, even if you're a runt like yourself."

"George!" Marvin's mother exclaimed. 

"Hush up!" Marvin's father snapped, frowning at his mother, then Marvin. "Our kid has something to say. Spit it out!"

Marvin's stomach churned suddenly. He dropped his fork on his plate. The sweat that was hiding away just a few seconds ago burst out from his pores, making a wave of sweat and grease run down his face. 

"Spit it out!" His father roared again, slamming his fist that was firmly holding his fist on the table, making a loud bang. 

"George, please," Marvin's mother cooed, trying to calm him down. 

"I said hush up, woman! Let our boy speak." A quick second of silence, then a nasty bellow. "Speak up, now, Marv!" 

Marvin cringed angrily. He hated that nickname. Marv. It made his stomach bubble even more. The sweat multiplied. He wasn't sure he could do this. But he had to. He had to push through it. His friends had convinced him it was time, so it was time. 

Looking up, like his father had instructed, he looked into both his parent's eyes. His father's horrid, colder than ice blue ones, and his mother's soft, gentle green ones. The stomach churning and sickness did not cease, but he forced himself to stay sitting and not run to the bathroom. Marvin could almost feel his insides crawling up into his throat, ready to be puked out in a massive heap. 

"I-I'm gay."

A response came right away. Two very, very different ones. Marvin's mother's face lit up right away in sheer joy, he could see it spark up just for a second, but right before Marvin had the chance to join in on the happiness, his father spoke. 

"Unacceptable." That is what he said. Unappectable. "I will not have a fag in this house. I just won't allow it."

The spark from Marvin's mother's face disappeared rather quickly after that. "But George, you're being--"

"For the last time, I told you to hush up, woman!" Marvin's father said, then, directed at Marvin, "Go to your room, boy. You're grounded until further notice."

Marvin could hardly restrain the burning tears in his eyes. All that bravery, all that courage, and for what? A punishment. Like he was criminal. 

"George, please--" Marvin's mother pleaded. "Don't punish him!" 

"He's a fag, woman, get that in your head!" Marvin's father screamed. "I can't accept that, and if you can, perhaps I should punish you too!"

Marvin found it difficult to leave his seat and let his mom be tormented by his horrible father, but he had to. The punishment would only get worse if he disobeyed his dad. 

Slowly walking out of the dining room and up the stairs to his room, the tears pushed past the boundaries and let loose. Sorrowful chokes and cries came out too. 

He could hear his father and mother bickering still, but the more stairs he climbed, the fainter it got. When he reached the top though, he could still hear it pretty clear, and a sigh of disappointment escaped between all the cries and chokes and miserable crap. 

I hate my life, he thought. 




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