Emojis and Shit (Modern AU)

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I finally updated this, yay. 


"Jason, what is this? I'm confused and angry."

Jason, who was sitting in the middle of the living room, eyes glued on some hot girl's breasts on some weird crime drama he loved (for that reason) did nothing. Not even a muscle twitch. 

"Jason," Marvin looked up from his phone, waving it at him. "Help me, I need help, help your father, I am an old man and I need assistance. Please. Jason!"

Jason sighed. "Dad, this show is important. I am using it for...research."

Marvin shook his phone at him, for desperate. "For Gods sake, just five minutes!"

Jason sighed and pried his eyes away from the screen, scooting his butt around so he was facing his dad and his obnoxiously waving phone. "What is it, cmon steady down, girl." He reached out and held his dad's hand still, although it still shook a bit. 

"What's the problem?" He asked, looking at the Grindr conversation between his father and some thirty something year old named Jacob. "All I see is...oh God, please don't tell me you're asking me for help on emojis."

"What the fuck is an emoji?" Marvin asked, snatching his phone away from Jason's grasp, admiring the screen that left him so bewildered. "Is that what that little picture is?"

Jason rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smirk at his dad's stupidity. Who didn't know what an emoji was? He walked over and sat real close to his father, their knees touching, but not in the creepy incest-y way like in Game of Thrones. Or maybe they would just show off their muscles and fuck each other in that show? Who knows at that point?

"I don't appreciate the smirk, this guy is really hot!" Marvin exclaims. "He's going to think I'm such a moron if I don't respond again soon!"

"Okay, so yes, those little pictures, are called emojis, they express emotions," Jason says, pointing to the eggplant and spew of water picture that Jacob had sent. "You know, the things that humans feel."

Marvin shoots his son a glare. "Just keep explaining."

Jason smiled even more, his teeth sticking out and shining like a perfectly scrubbed trophy of life. "Some emojis, although, have a double meaning. You might be wondering why he sent an eggplant and some water after asking for a..." he scans the text and tries not to vomit. "...dick picture. He wants to see your dick to see if you're, um, like."

"You don't need to explain!" Marvin snapped, scooting away from his son and keeping his phone tucked to the side so his thirteen year old couldn't see. "I get it now."

Jason nodded. "Good." 

He got down and flopped down back in the middle of the carpet, kind of upset the big breasts weren't on center stage, but hoping with all his heart that they would return soon. 

Literally as soon as he does, he hears the sound of Marvin's pants unzipping, along with a bit of chuckling. 

"Dad, in the other room!" Jason screamed. 

"I...thought you could help me with the angles," Marvin whined. 

Jason cringed, closing his eyes. He didn't want to face his dad right now. "In. The. Other. Room. Now. Please."

Marvin sighed, but obeyed. "Thanks a lot, if we break up one day, I'm blaming you."

Jason gags immediately as he leaves. "I'm never helping him again," he promises. 

"Jason, I lost the send button!" 

Never mind....







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