A Blank Slate II Completed

Chapter 26

It was quiet in the kitchen between us as we stared into each other's eyes. Eyes filled with longing for the other but mixed with dreadful memories of a rocky past. A past that tore two people apart that the wounds are still fresh, still there as they continuously sting the people they are in. Like a sting the sting by a bee, the needle still stuck into the skin and festering until someone pulls it out and relieves the pressure. Their eyes communicating emotions they both are too afraid to speak out loud, to break the fragile silence in the room. Too afraid to move forward, to do something to break the temporary spell casted over them. That is, until the small figure that is the result of a love between two people start to move and root around for something to eat.

I am the first to finally break the hold over us as I look down at my child's face. His large doe eyes are staring up at me as his hand waves over his mouth, the move he makes every time he is ready to eat. I know I have about 10 minutes to feed him till he starts to cry. Looking back up, his eyes are now looking down at Mason. Seemingly transfixed by every movement he makes; his mouth slightly falls open in awe.

Clearing my throat, his eyes move back up to mine, "He...uh...is hungry. I need to go...feed him" I trail off as I move around him and head to the stairs to go up to his room where I can have privacy. As I moved down the hall to the front door where the beginning of the staircase is located. I pass by Lee who is silent as I move past him and climb the stairs. Moving towards Mason's room and close the door. With a twisting motion in my stomach, I settle down into the green rocking chair and set up mason to eat. Looking down at his face, I try to focus on what's in front of me, which is my baby. But I know, that the moment Mason eats, he will be ready to sleep and that I have no choice but to head back down those stairs and confront it all.

Taehyung POV

My eyes wander around the room as my body is rooted to the floor. Rose just left with the baby, our baby. The baby whose face seemed to fill most of the pictures framed all around the walls. Those large eyes set into round cheeks and a large smile so familiar, there was nothing left to hide from now because there was no denying the truth. That the baby I just saw was in no doubt remembering photos of myself from the past; that the baby is no doubt the double of me, it is my baby.

My baby...

Those two words make something inside of me twist sharply as I think of the actions I have done that lead up to this point. Why did I run away? Why did I never contact her till now? Why did I deny the truth for so long?

Questions run through my mind, I am able to answer some but others I am still left without an answer. I don't know why I waited till now to confront the situation, but now I don't think I can go back to before.

Hearing movement behind me, I turn around thinking it is going to be Rose. Instead, I see that it is Lee. I had completely forgotten about him till now, and by his face, I can tell he is wondering what was going on.

"I...I saw him...my son..." releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding in for so long, I run a hand through my hair and dishevel the long honey brown hair on my forehead. Lee takes a step forward, and looks around the kitchen, his eyes lingering on the photos Rose has put up of our son so far. Pausing on a photo of Rose holding a smaller version of the baby, probably a photo taken right after he was born, of Rose standing in front of large meadow with spring flowers just blooming in the background. In the photo, their silhouettes are highlighted by the fading reds and purples of a sunset as she stares down at the small being bundled in a knitted dark green and brown blanket. The look on her face is of utter love and adoration that just looking at it is bringing a sense of calm and peace overcomes me as I look at it. The photo, something about it makes me want to jump into that portrait and join them, to be a part of that calm.

Letting out another breath, I look back at Lee who is staring hungrily at the food on the stove. A strain chuckle leaves my throat, but it freezes mid-way when I spot a body stopped at the doorway as they freeze as well when we make eye contact. But they quickly look away and spot the person who was lifting the lid of a pot and taking a large inhale of the smell.

"Lee! Don't touch the food yet!" she laughs as she pulls him away from the pot of food and then into a tight hug. I feel a burning, ugly feeling in my chest when I see that. I want to rip her away from him and into my arms, I wanted to punch him, to do something so he'll stay away. But, I had to hold myself back, I didn't want to make my situation with Rose worse. So instead, I just clenched my fist, waiting.

Eventually she does release Lee and takes a step back, and looks back in my direction, "Lee, what's going on?" it hurt to hear her say that, but I know I deserve it. I did abandon her...

"He wanted to talk to you" she looks back at Lee in shock, then turns back to me with a harden expression.

"Now. Now you want to talk?" her voice bleeds sarcasm and disbelief. I deserve it, and now I need to show her I don't want to run anymore.

"Yes, I want to talk. I need to talk to you." I take several steps toward her. "Rose...I know I hurt you. I hurt you more than any other person should" she turns away and breaks our eye contact. I take another step until I'm standing in front of her, reach a hand out, I grab hers and pull her hand until she faces me. "Rose, I don't want to run away anymore..." she stares at me for a long time, her features slowly change as her mask starts to break. Her face just falls as her eyes fill with tears, seeing that just breaks me further.

"Tae..." her voice cracks as she pulls her hand out of mine and rubs her tears with the other, "I-I can't...this can never work out..." she sniffles again, and I end up breaking my rule of giving her space and pull her into my arms.

"What do you mean we can't? I know I hurt you Rose, but I don't plan to run away anymore. I want this, I want our family, please Rose. Let me back in..."

She just shakes her head and pushes against me till I let her go, "I can't Tae, you can't be connected to us, not if it'll hurt us all..." I start to deny but she cuts me off, "please, we both know that while you are an idol. Any relationship we can have will ruin you and your groups career..." I hate that she is always worried about others than herself.

"Rose, Ro... I don't care about any of that, nor my group. If your fans truly love us, then they should still support us even if I'm in a relationship with a child." I go to grab her again, but she just takes another step away.

"Please, I can't Tae." She looks over at Lee with pleading eyes who has been watching us while munching on the food she made. He seems to understand what she wants and sighs. Getting up, he puts the plate in the sink and starts to walk over to me.

"Taehyung, it's time to go"

"But—"

"No buts man, she has had enough" he walks closer and says quietly, "you can try again, for now, give her space to think okay?" I nod and follow Lee as he walks behind Rose to the front door. She opens it and hugs Lee who exits first. As I am about to cross the threshold to leave, I stop next to her and look her in the eyes.

"Rose, I will convince you to give us another chance, a chance to be a family..." I leave as her eyes fills with tears once again and she covers her mouth with one hand to hold back sounds as she closes the door behind me.

I won't give up on us or our family Rose...

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