African beauty

Chapter 17 - In your wildest dreams

"Do you love him?" Said Alex, as he turned to me in the car while driving. "Don't put words in my mouth, Alex. Olly is very important to me". "I asked you if you loved him, Erica. Do you love him? It's a simple question" he said, losing his temper. I did not answer. I stayed there, silent, hoping that he would just assume an answer in his head and keep quiet. But that was not the case. He stopped the car and parked it to the side. "Erica!.." he said, and I interrupted him. "NO ALEX. I DO NOT LOVE HIM BUT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. HE WAS ALL I HAD WHILE YOU WERE BEHIND BARS. and now he can't remember all the times we had. All the things we shared. All the times when we made each other feel special. AND THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO ASK ME?" I Said, as I broke down crying hysterically. He shifted towards me and started embracing me. "I'm sorry. I'm such a dickhead" Said Alex. "Yes. Yes you are. I'm in love with you, Alex. Don't test my emotions again" I Said as I leaned in to kiss him, and he embraced.

When we got to my house, he sat me down to begin an interrogation series. "How did it feel like?" Asked Alex. "What do you mean?" I Said, as I turned to him with a smile. "You know, to have sex" Said Alex, making me remember that he was a virgin. "Oh, shit. It felt like I was going to heaven and hell at the same time. It hurt but then afterwards, it was the best feeling ever". "Wonderful" He said, with what looked like a frown. "Oliver needs to rest. After about two weeks of therapy and further testing, then we can come in and see him. But for now, let's just....catch up..." he said ask he proceeded to stroke my thigh. I resisted. "I'm not in the mood right now, Alex. Why don't you tell me about why you and Genie were going to get married?" I asked, with a stern face. "Because Genies dad has mad racks and it was suitable for my dads business". "What does Genies dad do for a living, drug lord as well?" I asked, on the verge of laughing. "No" he said, with no intention of going into detail. "I'm so glad we are finally getting to catch up" Said Alex, but I didn't reply, because my whole thoughts were on Oliver. I did not understand why I was missing Oliver, or why I felt like a part of my heart was completely immobile and on its verge of dying, but I felt it. Oliver's absence made me come into terms with the fact that I had not found my mothers killer yet, or the fact that I had transformed into a completely different person compared to who I once was. A Nigerian girl with strict parents had suddenly morphed into a rebellious, horrible teenager; which I completely hated when I first arrived at Hailshaw College. Now all the things which I could brag about were not longer in my possession, like virginity, innocence, friendliness and the likes. I even swore to myself that I would never lay with a white man, based on an experience I had when I was 12 and went to New York. I only wanted to get some tissues at McDonald's, at the man next to me called me a "little nigger" and screamed to get me away from him, cuz apparently I was dirty and would make him dirty as well. Yet there I was, losing my virginity to one and having him and his brother in love with me. It was a hole I never thought I would fall in. "Erica?" Said Alex, shaking me. "Yes Olly?" I answered. "I'm not Olly" Said Alex, getting upset. "Sorry, Sorry. I need some sleep" I Said, meaning to kindly ask him to leave. "Right, right. I'll go now. Take care of yourself, Erica" he said, deeply concerned. When he left, it was me and my thoughts again. All I wanted was to embrace Oliver, or have him beside me, so I could stroke his soft, silky brown hair while he talked about how attractive he found me. It comforted me.

Time had gone fast, because it was already November, and it was snowing bricks outside. It felt nice that it was almost December and the end of the year, but it also meant about 2 months since my mother passed away. I wanted nothing else but to see her beautiful face again, so she could tell me how proud she was of me. I never really saw much of my father, because he was always working, and times where he was not working, he would have strange, unfamiliar women around. It was literally a new woman every time, making me question how he got to know all these women in the first place. It felt like everyone that needed to be in my life either chose not to be, or couldn't be. I got out of my thoughts and got ready for school, because Hailshaw was a school of high achievers, so they couldn't close the bloody school down despite the weather. In Nigeria it's practically hot all year round, so this weather was very alien to me.