DIFFERENT SHADES OF HIM (BOOK-ONE)

12- Unbidden departure! (Part- 1)

VOTE AT LEAST!
NO SILENT READING!

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12— Unbidden departure! (Part- 1)

“It was darkness: blinding with absolute rage, ache and emptiness. Everything felt constricted, everything felt out of place, out of reach, nothing seems right anymore, nothing seems to matter anymore. The power once felt so potent, so strong— felt like a thin thread of broken trust, bond and loyalty. Everything felt like the gripping darkness of the night, nibbling on the outside to reach the insides to take control. To take control of the mind; the grasping silence that has billions of emotions overpowering each other felt— an immense amount of numbness, surrounding it: surrounding the psyche in a death grip.”

— Saumya Tripathi 

                                             •••

November 3

Location— Cantt station, Varanasi.  

Timing— 3:27 a.m

“If you came here to take us back then you are highly mistaken,” my voice came out stronger contrary to what I felt inside. “We are waiting for my uncle to receive us,” I emphasised. “We are going home.”

His unruly hair seemed messed up and wet with a few beads of droplets slipping past his forehead down his face. 

“That won't be a problem.” 

His answer was so vague I couldn't understand the meaning behind the short reply. 

Now, when I think about my past; those mishaps that had occurred all so suddenly in a few past months and those which still seemed to be occurring— appeared so strange and indescribable. Which still made me wonder if— life had so much to take from us but nothing to give in return. Was it not? 

Life was so unprecedented that we couldn't even predict what shall happen in the very next seconds. Was it not? 

The silence was so eerie in the coach with him hovering over us at his full height which made me coercive to think if he were able to hear my heartbeats which were already leaping from my chest to my mouth. Even in the loud sound of rain when hitting on the hard ground of land heavily and sharply due to the force of gravitation, I was able to hear my own heartbeats and my own blood which was pumping in and out from my arteries. My body was like a block of ice as I sat numbed and breathless, and clueless. 

“Then you should leave.”

Was it the fear that I was feeling right now when speaking the words out? But from what? And more precisely from whom? Why was I feeling mystified and baffled? When I knew he was no one and he would not be able to do anything in public! 

I contemplated. It was obvious to think over. 

Now, could he? He most probably will not! Then, why did I have this intense gut feeling of being in danger right now? Moreover, Uncle would be here. I must not have to fear. Why would I? I most probably must not! Soothing my torment of mental suffering, I decided.