The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

3

"Hi, Tom." I press the phone to my ear and stuff my free hand in my sweatshirt pocket and glance out the window. Rain streams down the glass, and thunder rumbles in the distance. The dorm is washed over in a warm yellow light - through the thin walls, I can tell it's getting colder. I woke up in the middle of the night last night freezing, and had to throw on a sweatshirt.

"Hey, Sam. How's school going?"

"It's going really well."

"Yeah?" Tom coughs, and I wince.

"So you're going to the doctors tomorrow?"

"You know I am, Sam. Come on, I don't want to talk about this. Tell me more about Harvard."

"I just want to make sure - Veronica is driving you, right? And it's just a check-up? You're going in for an operation next Thursday?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all right."

"And you've been feeling okay lately?"

Tom sighs deeply, and guilt throbs through my veins. The last time I saw him was the last time I saw Cameron - two months ago. I haven't been able to get home. It's far, and the trains aren't that cheap either. I am a horrible nephew. I am horrible. I am horrible.

"We talked two days ago," he says. "Nothing has changed, Sam. I'm feeling fine."

I rub my mouth and blink up towards the ceiling. I like the sound of rain. "You sure?"

"Sam... " I can tell he's getting agitated.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop worrying so much. You worry too much."

"I'm sorry," I repeat. Part of me wants to be home right now. But the other part of me is glad I'm not there to watch him decay - I wonder how tired he really is right now - something in my stomach twists. I clear my throat. "So... how are the Becketts?"

"Oh, just great. Hailey came over after school yesterday and we played checkers."

"Who won?"

"She did, of course."

I smile. "I miss you guys."

He coughs again, and the smile slips from my face. "We all miss you too," he says, his voice maybe weaker than it was before. "But focus on school right now! We're all doing good."

I glance at the clock on my desk - it's almost ten o'clock.

"You should head to bed soon," I say. "And you have to wake up early for your appointment. You know what time it's at?"

"Sam, you know I know what time my appointment's at."

"It's eight-thirty. But you should leave early. Because of traffic. Do you need to let Veronica know? She's -"

"She's driving me, Sam, we know. You said. Alright, kid, I'll let you go. Study and kick some ass. And let loose a bit. Go out, have some fun."

God, he sounds like Eliza.

"Sure," I say, pulling down my sweatshirt hood and running my fingers through my hair. "I'll try."

"Goodnight."

"Night, Tom."

With a shaky breath, I pull the phone away from my ear. The blue light glares up at me - my background is a photo of Cameron and I, and I rub my thumb over the screen, clearing away imaginary smudges. Cameron is mid-laugh, and we're walking through the local park in mid-summer, trees bright and full around us. His dark hair, sharp, green eyes, crooked smile and handsome face - an enormous wave of loneliness swells in my chest.

The dorm room door swings open, and Pierce walks in, his backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Hey," I say quickly.

He stops in his tracks and squints at me. "You okay? You look a little shaken."

That's the thing I like about Pierce, that he's not afraid to be blunt. I'd never have the courage to say what's on my mind.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just talked to my uncle."

"The cancer one?"

Well, the only one. "Yeah."

Pierce nods. His mom had breast cancer, so he knows what I'm feeling. We had this conversation one of the first nights here, when we were both up late, feeling homesick. His mom is in remission now.

"Is he doing okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay. Just tired, I think."

Pierce slings his backpack to the floor and collapses on his bed. "That's good. I'm exhausted. I'm gonna fall asleep now, I think."

"Okay. I have some studying to do, but I'll try not to wake you."

Pierce turns on his side, facing the wall, and is breathing deeply within seconds. He's still in his jeans, sweater, and sneakers - I can't help but stare at him for a moment. How can someone just fall asleep like that? I wish I could.

I grab my toiletries and a towel and head down the hall to the communal showers. Surprisingly, it's empty. The white tiles are slick with water, and a bug buzzes by the fluorescent light. As I turn to go into a shower stall, I catch my eye in the mirror. I make a face at myself. Drop it. Take a deep breath. Release it shakily.

I take a longer shower than normal, letting the hot water run down my back. 

A/N thoughts on tom?