The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

34

I get scholarships from almost all the schools I applied to. The University of Toronto offers the biggest. I feel so relieved I can hardly stand.

Ms. Beckett bursts into tears. "Oh!" she says, and kisses my cheek over and over again. "We're so proud of you, Sam!"

Hailey dances around the kitchen in her fluffy socks. "Yay!" she shrieks, grabbing Veronica's hand and doing a spin. "Yay, Sam!"

Tom gives me a huge hug, and then Cameron does, too. I breathe into his shoulder.

"You did it," Cameron says in my ear. "You get to start over."

Starting over. That sounds nice. I don't know if anyone really does get to start over, though - just start again. I kiss his cheek.

Cam takes me out to dinner to celebrate, at a new Thai restaurant that opened a few blocks away. He looks nice, in a simple sweater and khaki pants, his cologne fresh and clean - the March weather is chilly, but not cold, and the sky tonight is cloudless. We drive down familiar streets, and I rest my arm on the window and look up.

As we're being seated at the restaurant, two young women ask for Cameron's autograph. He smiles at me when he's done.

"So," he says.

"So," I say.

"Sam."

"Cam."

"You know, you'll love living in Toronto. It's the best city in the world."

"Yeah?"

"It'll be even better with you there."

"I can't wait. Really, I'm excited."

"Are you happy?"

I glance at the flickering candle on our table. "Right now, I am happy," I say.

"And in general?"

"I think so. Happier, at least. Happier than I was."

"That's good."

"That's all I want, right? To be happier than I was. And then I'll just keep getting happier and happier. That's what Elizabeth says, happiness is a process. And I am excited for the nursing program. And to live in Toronto. And to be so close to you. I really am."

"You can come see a bunch of home games," says Cam. "I'll get you season tickets."

"Really? That would be amazing."

The waiter slides a plate of spring rolls on the table, and we dig in hungrily. Cameron glances at me as he takes a bite, the roll crunching loudly. "Have you thought about the living situation?"

I roll the fork between my fingers. "I think I'll stay in the dorms, at least for my first year. If that's okay. I don't want to rush things."

"I get that. I don't want to rush things either. We can visit each other all the time."

But then he smiles, and of course I'm lying. Of course I would rush things. I love him so much it hurts. But Tom and Ms. Beckett would freak out if we moved in together - we're only eighteen, almost nineteen, but still - and I know it's for the best, that we don't live together right away.

"You should come up to the city this weekend," says Cam. "I leave Monday for an away game, but we can walk around Toronto and stuff. I'll show you my apartment."

"Sounds good."

"I'm proud of you."

That sounds ridiculous. Proud of me for what? But I say, "I'm proud of you too, Cam." And he is happy. And so am I.