The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

12

Eliza leans against my shoulder, scrolling through her phone. We're sharing earphones; an upbeat song is playing, one that makes her bob her head, and I let the music wash over me as I squint down the subway. It's a Saturday morning, so it's not too busy; only a few other people are scattered throughout the T.

"Any song requests?" she asks, popping her gum.

"No, play whatever you like." I like listening to Eliza's music. It's reflective of her personality. What songs remind Eliza of me?

The song changes to something similarly upbeat, yet a different vibe - it's chill, and calming, and I lean back in the plastic seat.

Eliza twirls a strand of dark hair around her finger. "I'm glad I convinced you to go shopping with me."

"Well - it was more like you forced me to go. But okay."

She laughs. "Come on, Sam. You have three hoodies. And this sweatshirt, which you almost always wear." She pulls gently on the sleeve of Cameron's blue sweatshirt.

I smile softly. "I guess."

"And there's this really cute store that Marly recommended to me. You know those red boots she has?"

No. "Yeah, I think so."

"Well, she got them from that store. For really cheap, too."

"That's great, Eliza."

"And then after we shop till we drop, we'll head back to the dorms and study."

"And watch Cameron. He has a game this afternoon."

"And watch Cameron, yeah."

I glance out the windows of the T - we're in the tunnels, dark and marked with graffiti, yellow lights flashing by - and then the tunnel walls disappear and we're zooming outside. The sky is bright and sunny, tall, brick buildings stretching towards the sun, and the wheels click quickly on the rails below.

Eliza pops her gum again and sits up, looking out the window, the sun illuminating her face. "So, you start volunteering at the hospital tomorrow? That's exciting."

"Yeah."

"Hospitals freak me out, to be honest."

Me too, a little. A lot, actually. They remind me of Tom, and Cameron, and home. But then again, everything does. And Marly was right - I do need something to distract me from school.

~

A few hours later, we're back in Eliza's dorm room, the hockey game crackling on TV. Julie sits on her bed, painting her nails a shimmery shade of purple, and late afternoon light trickles sleepily through the window.

"And then I got this sweater -" Eliza pulls her new clothes out of the bags and shows them off to her roommate. "Which go with my earrings, you know those teal ones?"

"Yeah, I love that."

"And I got this pair of ripped jeans. And at first I wasn't going to buy them, but then I saw they were thirty percent off."

"Thirty percent off!"

"Right? Thank you."

Julie blows on her nails and nods her head at me. "What about you, Sam?" she asks. "What did you get?"

Before I can answer, Eliza rolls her eyes dramatically. "Nothing," she says loudly. "He got nothing."

"Not true. I got sneakers."

"Oh yeah, he got sneakers."

I dig around through the bag of yogurt-covered pretzels. I actually do like the sneakers I bought - they're navy blue, otherwise plain. Okay, they're not that exciting. And I really only bought them because they were cheap, and to make Eliza happy. But I have roundtrip train tickets to buy back home. I can't afford to spend lots of money.

Eliza continues talking through her buys with Julie, and out of nowhere, an enormous wave of exhaustion nearly knocks me out. I yawn and stretch out on the bed, letting my eyes slip shut.

"Sam? Aren't you missing Cameron play?"

"It's a commercial break."

"Are you that tired from all that shopping?" I hear the smile in her voice.

I tuck my hands in my sweatshirt sleeves, curling up on my side. "I didn't sleep that well the other night," I admit. I didn't sleep at all, actually.

Eliza pats my leg like mothers might do, and turns back to her conversation with Julie. I feel myself starting to drift to sleep - please don't have another nightmare, feel my muscles jerk with fear - but unconsciousness eventually pulls me under. And I don't dream anything at all.

When I wake up, the sky is a hazy dusk, and the dorm room is dark and empty. Julie and Eliza must've gone off somewhere. The television is turned off and I rub my neck, blinking awake, breathing in the warm scent of laundry detergent that hangs on the pillowcases. Someone must've thrown a blanket over me.

My phone buzzes, and I pick it up groggily. It's Mrs. Beckett.

Hi honey! Tried to call earlier. Just wanted to let you know Tom is going in for another round of chemo tomorrow morning. I'll be driving him. He says study hard! :) xx

Another round of chemo. Study hard. I slide my phone in my sweatshirt pocket and slip out the dorm, pulling my Cameron's soft hoodie over my head. It doesn't smell like him anymore. I want to call him, but he's probably busy - they ended up winning - so I send him a text message instead. great game, call when you can.

Outside, yellow street lights begin to flicker on, illuminating the darkened pathways, empty benches, the stone steps leading up to buildings. I glance up. The moon hangs low in the twilight sky - glassy, luminous, like a desert mirage, like if I wave my hand it'll disappear. I wonder if Tom is at home right now, on his favorite armchair, glancing outside. Cameron, too, maybe resting his head against the window of an airplane. We all look up at the same moon - maybe we're not as apart as it feels. God, I miss St. Anne.

There are three weeks until exams, and then holiday break.

A/N soft chapter here. i also have to thank you guys - i recently found out i won a national writing award for a short story i wrote - and could not have done it without you dealing with some very questionable shit i wrote and helping me improve :)