The Multitudes Within Me (Sequel to The Sound of Ice)

35 - The End

Three months later

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I stick my tongue out in the mirror, Cameron running his fingers through his hair hurriedly.

"We're gonna be late," he says.

"We're not. All we have to do is walk downstairs."

He takes a deep breath. "You sure the jersey is okay?"

I finish swiping on mascara - maybe Veronica did rub off on me, a little - and turn to look at him. "You look great. The jersey is great."

He pulls on his baseball hat and takes another deep breath. It's summer, and sunlight streams through the bathroom window. I can already taste the humidity, thick and hot in the air under a wide, blue sky. As I twist the cap back on the mascara, Cameron reaches out and touches my cheek gently, where I stuck a small bisexual flag sticker.

"It's covering your freckles."

"And?"

"I love your freckles."

I grin at him in the mirror. "Oh, don't get sappy, Cam."

He throws his arm around my neck and kisses my cheek until I burst out laughing.

We head outside, where huge crowds of people are crammed onto the Toronto streets - rainbows are everywhere, and everyone is laughing and taking pictures. I can tell Cameron is nervous, and I slip my hand into his. The bracelet Eliza made is tied around my wrist.

"You look great," I say again, even though it's harder to hear over the noise.

He flashes a grateful smile as people start to recognize him - it's not hard, in his pride-colored hockey jersey and Maple Leafs baseball hat.

Someone gives Cameron an LGBT flag as the parade starts, and we walk through the streets of our city. I bounce in my sneakers happily. Canadian flags and rainbows hang from balconies as the sun shines brightly, and I let the warmth soak into my skin. It smells like sunscreen and sugar, and I breathe in deeply.

"There are so many people," says Cameron. He looks in awe, almost, and the light catches his green eyes. And for some reason, I am reminded of the day he showed up on my doorstep, his hands in his pockets and the porch light catching his eyes. So if you could... I mean, tutor me, that'd be awesome, but it's okay if you can't.

"By the way," I say. "Tom called me this morning, before his chemo session."

"Yeah?"

"He said to say hi. And that he would be here if he could. But he hung a flag at the house, and in his hospital room."

"Aww. He's so great."

I smile. "Yeah, he is."

The parade makes a loop that nears the university. I move into my dorm in a few weeks, but for now I've been bouncing back and forth between St. Anne and Cameron's apartment. I've already met some other nursing students, and they seem wonderful. In my back pocket, there is the picture of me, Max, and Willem. I'll take it to school with me.

Cameron passes over the flag, and I wrap it around my shoulders. "It suits you," he says.

I smile. I am happy. Maybe there are different multides of me, but I like this version. The one that starts again.

As the parade begins to wind down, Cameron is surrounded suddenly by a group of his old teammates - people like Ethan and Ollie, who I went to high school with, and Matthew, who I've heard lots about. Cameron is so choked up he can barely speak. I knew they were coming. Ethan was the one who texted me.

I let them have their moment and I wander off, eventually sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. I fiddle with my bracelet - bisexuality, I'm still messing around with the word, but I think I like it - and close my eyes, breathe in the warmth, listen to the party around me. And I think about the past year. Harvard. Eliza. Pierce. Panic attacks in the science building bathroom. Nightmares. Cancer. Chemistry. Marly. The telescope that sits in my room at home, pointed towards the window. My parents. Church. Elizabeth. Letters. Black and white movies that hum through speakers. Hailey. Veronica and her makeup kits. War and Peace. The war part of my life. The peace part. Willem. Snow that sticks in dark hair. Depression. Happiness. Tom. Cameron.

"Hey," says Cam, and he sits on the sidewalk beside me. There are traces of glitter on his face. "My St. Anne teammates are here."

I squeeze his hand. "I know."

"Is this what happiness feels like?"

I look at him. "Yes," I say definitively, like I would know for sure. Maybe I do know. And he looks at me back.

"I love you, Sam."

I smile. He is perfect to me. Cameron smiles, too.

"I love you too, Cam."

If Cameron were a book, I would read it forever and ever and ever.  

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The End

A/N next chapter for author's note