Fire Starter | Tom Holland

20 | Youtube

[offscreen]

"Why am I freaking out about this video? I swear I'm gonna throw up."

[intro plays]

"Hello everyone! I'm Blanca Perez and this is my life. The title of this video is probably something super dramatic because that's the type of person I am but it also probably doesn't give any sort of hint as to what this video is about. So there's definitely a drama factor in this video."

"This video is a long time coming - six almost seven months to be exact. Before anything, I just wanna say that myself and the person this video is about have had a brief discussion about this video and a video going up on their channel being okay for the both of us. Each of our narratives are important and in no way am I bad mouthing this person even a little."

"By now, y'all probably have figured out this is going to be about what happened with Katie. I wish I would have made talking points because y'all know me - this is going to be straight up word vomit."

"Katie and I meet when I was 16 at PlayList and hit it off. Our friendship rivaled that of the Unholy Trinity. The boys were shook when they realized how quickly we became best friends."

"Fast forward to my 18th birthday, she asked me to be her girlfriend. I said yes. A lot of you speculated about this part because of the bracelet that she gave me on that birthday. To be honest, that bracelet gave a lot more context clues than I thought it would."

"At this point, neither of us wanted to bring our relationship to the public. We were very careful of what we posted: there is so much vlog footage that I have on my external drives that I never edited because we were being so secretive. I don't regret that, though. I think that I put so much of my life online - so much of it is just out there that I wanted to keep this thing private until things were more concrete. That's one aspect of our relationship we were on the same page with."

"We dated for a long time - a little more than two years. And when you are dating someone for that long, you learn a lot about them. So much more than you think you will. And there were parts of ourselves that clashed in really bad ways."

"We are both very stubborn people and that was one of the reasons we fought. We both believed that we were right and there was no convincing us otherwise. And it got to the point that we would be hanging out with our friends and we would get into an argument and we would end up screaming at each other and our friends had to pull us away from each other and have us calm down away from the other. I don't think I ever realized how bad it had gotten until after we broke."

"Another thing that I think just added to the mess we were was that we tested each other's limits. And in the worst ways possible. I never asked her if something I did was bothering her, I just did it and did it so much until we would have a fight about it - it didn't matter if it bothered her at first or not. We wanted to know each other's limits and didn't care how."

"This next part is going to sound like I'm trying to deflect that blame away from me, but I promise I'm not. My anxiety and my panic attacks were the worst during our last year, year and a half of dating. I felt like I couldn't control my body at all at this point, but I could control Katie's. I knew how to push her buttons. I knew how to make her mad. I didn't know how to keep my own emotions in check, but I sure as hell knew what to do to her to make her lose control of hers. And I did it, for a sense of control."

"A little bit after my 20th birthday, we broke up. It wasn't anything dramatic. I had started therapy AND I was finally dealing with my crap in a healthy way. Both of us realized we weren't happy with each other, and that was that."

"I don't regret the relationship - at all. I have definitely grown a lot since then. Thankfully. I wish Katie nothing but the best in life."

"So that is the story of why Katie and I basically disappeared from each other's lives and why I stopped wearing one of my favorite bracelets. Thank you guys for watching. The comments on this video are going to be disabled, just fair warning. See you on Friday."

[outro plays]

***

I didn't want Blanca to be perfect, I wanted her to be real and insecure about her past relationship - I hope that comes off well enough. Also, I don't really have face claim for Katie. It's not really important to the story. Don't worry: Bom will rise soon enough ;)