September

0.5: Happy Endings?

He'd often wondered if it was possible to be happy. If it were a possibility and not just fiction.

There was a time he believed happiness was in his reach, but he didn't grab onto it and the chance left him. It left as fast as it came.

He wasn't sure if he believed it's possible, but he wasn't sure if he was convinced its only fiction.

Dakota
12/23/20__

Interestingly, I decided to write the day after you turned 25. But maybe if I tried to write it'd ease a bit of the feeling that won't leave my chest. So here it goes.

When I was younger, my parents would read to me before I went to bed every night. Stories that always had a happy ending. Where the character's heart never gets broken. Stories were happy ever afters exist. Once you get older you realize why it's called fiction. Real-life doesn't work like that. Your heart gets broken. You fall apart. And you have to force yourself to put it back together over and over again.

There are days when you don't know why you let your heart love. Then there are days when you don't regret anything at all.

Back then, I believed that everything would turn outright. I believed I would find someone, and we'd be together forever. When I saw her, and I worked up the courage to help her. I knew she was the one for me.

If happy endings do exist, would she be with me? Would I still be with her? Are we just meant to be apart? It should add up, but it doesn't. But maybe that's just how life is.

Her eyes danced whenever she laughed. I used to love to tell her jokes just to hear the sweet sound that left her lips, and to see her eyes dance.

She was unforgettable. She had this essence that drew you to her. Auroral. Like the dawn, she gave me a fresh start at life. She made me feel like I had meaning.

Orphic, mysterious, entrancing, beyond ordinary understanding. Those were the words to describe her. She had this mystery about her, that kept you wanting to know more.

She was someone who was hard to describe. A paradox. One moment she was quiet, cause her mind spoke too loud. The next she talked. One minute she thought about what she'd say. The next she just spoke as it came to her. One thing that remained the same through it all, she was never afraid of being herself or being honest

If it left her lips, she meant it. Maybe that's why I believed everything she promised.

She and I said we'd be together for eternity. Sometimes there's an end to eternity, and you just have to accept that. And eventually, you have to move on.

And maybe that's what I've got to do.