31: Here

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"You know what the problem is?" I ask Harry the night if our anniversary, my head wound much better than it was yesterday.

"No? There's a problem?" Harry and I are outside looking at the stars.

"No, not really." I pause. "And then yes, kind of." I sigh. "The problem is I'm afraid to need you."

"Need me." Harry repeats. "How so?"

"If I get too close, I'm afraid I won't just want to be with you anymore, that I will need you." I bite my lip. "I don't want to need anyone."

Harry sighs and is quiet. "You wouldn't need me," he says after what seems like forever. "You would just become more attached."

I murmur an agreement. Harry holds my hand. I rub his hand with my thumb.

Harry sits up and eventually I do the same. He leans his head on mine. He sings to me softly, and old Lonestar song. Amazed to be specific. I smile and look over at him.

"Baby, I'm amazed by you," he plants a kiss on my check and then another on my neck. He stands up bringing me with him.

He dances with me, on that grassy field in the middle of no where, twirling me around and singing me love songs. I laugh as he mimics different artists. By the end of his medley I am leaning on him, exhausted, it has to be past midnight. Our day is over. Our arms are wrapped around each other and I have no intention of letting go.

"Isabel?" Harry asks.

"Hmm?" I say.

"I will never leave you." He says.

I don't say anything back to him. I do not believe him.

Harry knows I don't and I feel some of his discomfort at this. Someone out there is better for Harry than I am. But instead of deciding to let Harry go and find her, like I planned in May. I will enjoy what time I have with Harry, before fate finds this new girl. Before I have to say goodbye to Harry.

Harry kisses me. He kisses me like he might never see me again. It is intense. I don't pull away, it's like he's trying to keep me close to him. It's like my unbelief in our forever makes him think I will be leaving. But he's wrong.

***

"Scoot over." I say pushing him on the couch.

He looks at me funny but obeys, moving over a few inches.

I sit, grouchy, and reading my book. I am at Harry's house, he begged me to come over today, only to be greeted with Isabel the Grouch. Everything is making me mad, from Cassia Reyes in her adventure to find Ky in the book I'm reading, Crossed by Aly Condie, to Harry's breathing pattern. Angry, angry, angry.

Harry gets up and I hear him walk upstairs. He obviously realized that sitting with me wasn't a good move. This makes me mad. I scream out of exasperation when another chapter goes by and Cassia still hasn't found Ky. I throw the book across the room, knocking over a small table. I cry on the couch in a ball afterwards. Bitter tears. Why am I so angry?

Harry's footsteps walk into the room and observe the situation. "Do you want to talk?"

"No!" I yell.

Harry doesn't leave. He leans on the wall, I can hear him sigh.

"Yes." I whisper, changing my mind.

"Why are you sad?" He asks sitting next to me.

"Not sad!" I correct forcefully. "Angry!" I sit up and look at him.

"Angry people throw books and cry?" He asks brushing away one of my tears.

"Living proof." I say.

Harry smiles. "What made you angry."

"My book." I say. "And your breathing."

Harry makes a disturbed face at me and backs up. "My breathing?"

"Not like that loser." I say, wrapping my arms around him. "The sound, not the action. You may live..." Harry breaths a sigh of mock relief. "...tonight..." I finish and Harry tickles my side. I shriek and laugh almost simultaneously.

He smiles at me, he's so cute. Stupid curls and dumb green eyes. Viridian is the color, I think. He has one of those awful bandanas in his hair. "Take it off." I say, referring to the hair piece, however Harry smirks and pulls off his shirt.

"Happy?" He asks.

I shake my head at his childishness. I reach up and pull the bandana off his head. Harry, being the rotten idiot that he is shifts ever so slightly, causing me to fall into him.

"Ouch." I complain in a small childish voice, and pretend to have been hurt. I am distracted momentarily by Harry's abdominal muscles.

"I kiss it." Harry assures me in a voice that matches mine.

I smile up at him. "Here." I point to my finger.

"Oh no." He says, taking my hand and kissing my finger. I laugh softly at his mock seriousness. He looks up at me. So cute. The look in his eyes alone is enough to free the butterflies in my stomach.

"And here." He tells me, kissing my cheek. "And here." He places his lips on my neck. "Here." Now my jaw. He tilts my head up with his thumbs and places a few more kisses.

He goes to kiss my lips but I put my finger up and over his lips. He opens his eyes and looks at me. "What?" He asks.

I study his face for a moment. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you." He says, wrapping his arms around me.

I smile and remove my hand. I had to hear him say it. I don't know why.

"Here." He says, placing his lips to mine.

***

Daisy has turned down two record deals. She still covers songs in local stages, she is paid a lot to sing for them. She is basically famous.

"If you're trying to break me heart it's working cause you know, that should be me," Daisy is covering the Biebs.

Louis and Darcy are in their own little world. They came out here with us, but they aren't really with us. Four months apart made them super into each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

As for Zayn and Daisy...they aren't official publicly, but they are exclusive.

I sit alone on a bar stool. Harry and Niall and talking a few feet away.

"Hey." A guy sits next to me.

I smile and turn away. I hope he leaves me alone.

"What's your name?" He asks.

"In a relationship." I tell him.

"That's a long name." He laughs.

I turn to him and smile. "It wasn't meant to be funny." Again I turn away from him. I'm afraid that if I move he will follow and then Harry will get involved.

"Sassy." He murmurs taking a sip of his drink.

I scoot over a stool.

I watch as Daisy starts a new song. "If this room was burnin' I wouldn't even notice..."

Harry moves next to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "I think I know the band that originally sang this..."

"I don't think they were that memorable." I tease.

"What were they called?" He snaps his fingers.

"Singular Way?" I offer.

He looks over at me smiling. "Not quite."

"Ahh." I say. "I can't remember."

"Pity." He says. I laugh.

I really hope me and Harry are forever.

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