The Choreographer

35: I Nevers

"Do you want to go back to America?" Harry asks me, late one night. I'm scrap booking and he's on my bed watching me.

"Eventually, yeah." I say.

"When is eventually?"

I look up at him. "When I am too old to travel."

He smiles. "So now you want to travel?"

"Too see the world!" I spread my arms out.

Harry is quiet for a long time. "I am so lucky to love you."

"Lucky to love me." I repeat.

"You said something, about a month ago, you said that people don't dream of loving someone, they dream if being loved. And you're right. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to love you." He says to me, very quietly.

"This time last year, I was getting ready to meet your family." I remember. "Did you love me then, I mean, really love me?"

"I did. But...not like I do now."

"What does that mean?" I'm intrigued.

"Well, I loved you then, but the love was one created by the need to protect you. From the world, and from yourself. Later, I loved you in the sense that I wanted to have you, forever. And now, I love you in a way that could be described as unconditional. I think you could break my heart and I would still love you." He explains.

"Why do you sound like a Nicolas Sparks novel?" I ask, trying not to get emotional.

Harry laughs and gets off the bed and sits next to me. "I don't know."

"Me neither." I agree.

"Remember a long, long time ago, when I asked you if I could buy you a ring?" Harry whispers in my ear.

"I do." I say.

"I'm going to make good on that promise, Isabel Serenity Masterson." His lips brush my ear.

"I always knew you would." I turn to face him, my voice hushed. And it's true, I never doubted him. I doubted me.

Harry kisses me softly then pulls away looking into my eyes. "You are wonderful."

"That's hyperbolized."

"Doesn't mean it's not the truth." He brushes my hair out of my face. "Can we take this back now?"

Harry is referring to my hair. He wants it back to brown. I've had the boxes for a week, I just wanted him to tell me when. "Yeah, we can."

Harry tries to help as I dye my hair back to brown, but in the end he ends up just distracting me and making me laugh. Being utterly useless.

There's a quote from The Stones of Venice I that says, "...the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless."

And I would have to agree. Not for Harry, but for me.

When I wanted to be beautiful, when I wanted to be perfect, I was useless. I was an awful listener, a bad friend and an unworthy lover. I did not deserve the love given to me. When I stopped looking for the beautiful, I found it in other people. And I became happy. I became trustworthy, and caring. I got to keep Harry.

No Jessica for him.

I smile at the thought and Harry kisses my cheek.

I finish my hair and it falls down my back in a chocolate brown cascade.

"Sexy." Harry whispers into my ear.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Yeah." He says.

I smile into the mirror and Harry wraps his arms around me smiling from behind me.

"Twitter." He says pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of us.

I laugh, and Harry smiles. We look like two fools. I have never been happier.

***

Niall flew a girl he had met on tour, Brynleigh, out to London for an event we're all going to. We are all color coordinated with our dates. It's a pretty big deal for us to all look this put together.

I am in a dark red dress, and Harry has a tie to match. This goes the same for Brooke, who's dress is charcoal, And Darcy, who's in a forest green, and Daisy, who is wearing a pale blue. We wait for Niall and Brynleigh.

She's in a plum colored dress, holding Niall's hand.

Cameras flash and our names are called out. "Isabel!" "Harry!" "Are the rumors true?" "Are you engaged?" One after another all the paparazzi call.

"We're engaged?" I ask Harry.

"Apparently." He agrees, holding my hand.

"Wow. I had no idea." I say.

"Neither did I. This is such a surprise..." He's smiling at me and I start laughing.

I swing our hands as we walk into event. I sigh, I have been in wonderful moods lately.

"It will happen one day though." Harry assures me.

"One day." I repeat.

"Soon." He tacks on.

"Okay." I agree.

"Okay?" He sounds surprised.

"Yeah." I smile.

Harry presses his lips to mine.

I never thought I would fall in love when I took that job as a choreographer. I never thought I would be loved. Harry came from a big bunch of I nevers. And I would never trade it.