how I feel

I'm hurting myself like someone hurt me

Kevin starts pouring the drinks and i.started to go on Facebook. All of a sudden i saw a Facebook status from my dad say how much he and his.new family are having fun and how he loves them. Icould feel the.tears welting in my eyes. I lightly threw my phone on the bed and ran into the bathroom. I could see everyone staring at me. Kev walked.over to the bathroom door and knocked

"Kay are you alright"

"yeah" i yelled sniffling.

"guys can we move this party ro Jeremy and Neil's room ill come and join in a little while. Okay?"

i could here the sound of everyone shuffling out of the room.

"Kay I'm coming in whether you like it or not."

He opens the door and.sees my face all red and puffy with tears in my eyes.

he runs over to me and wraps his arms around me.

"what happened?"

"i just have a piece of shit father who only cares about his new life"

I said bursting into tears and hyperventilating.

"Kay Kay calm down. You are going to have a panic attack. You need to breath sweetheart."

i started calming down and start to breath. He took picked me up and carried me out to the bed he brought me sweatpants and one of his shirts. Kev knows all about my past and everything in it. About cutting and my family. I changed my shirt first and he.say next to meer as i got changed. I took my pants off and he sat and stared at my cuts.

"Kay. Can i ask you something."

"yes." I said still sniffling

"why would you ever do that to yourself? we never really talked about this and i feel like we should"

"i don't know." I say "anytime i cut it feels like a sense of relief. Like each time i do it i feel like.I'm hurting someone like they hurt me. You may not understand but that's how i feel."

" but you not hurting them your hurting you self. Your not making them hurt your making yourself hurt. I love you to death Kayla and i would want to hurt.anyone that hurts you. I just can't bare to see you upset or harm yourself over dumb ass people who don't deserve to see you like this."

I just shrugged and sat their with a rear.rolling down my face. He lifted my head up and wiped the tear and tucked me into bed. Get some sleep these people can't hurt you and more. He.kissed my head then he.left.

Authors note

Im sorry this is so short.and upsetting im having a rough time and i just wanted to get.my feelings out one way or another. Again I'm so sorry