Who Am I? » [Stucky]

54. Coming Clean

Steve looked at the crowd of smiling familiar friendly faces waiting for him. He looked right from the front of the room to the back, seeing everyone's different expressions; seeing their different levels of anticipation and trepidation. All the pressure was now on him. He hadn't realised quite how many people there were until now: twelve of them; but it felt like the whole world was watching him as he paraded around on the raised platform at the back of the room, masquerading like the good actor her was.

Suddenly the air in the room became too stuffy to drag into his faulty shallow lungs, thick like choking gas that he'd encountered in HYDRA facilities that he and Bucky had conquered. His heart disobediently started stammering and fluttering, racing out of control, thrashing against his ribcage like an animal refusing to be wrangled. His face paled sickeningly, going ghostly pale and sickly ill. He could feel his blood shooting about his body at a billion miles per hour, racing through his veins. His breathing was short and quickened as he lost the ability to breathe and his vision was drawn into high focus as every moment became more lucid and clear with the adrenaline.

He puffed out his perky cheeks as he exhaled and tried to steady his trembling body. He'd never been one to get nervous over speeches or communal occasions, but this was like no other.

Fury and Phil were at the back of the pack, Phil smiling encouragingly, his eyes begging for Steve to be brave, stay strong and composed.

If you truly love Mr Barnes, nothing should get in the way.

"Uh..." Steve stammered, his breath catching in his throat, impinging on his troubled speech. That was not a good start.

Nick raised an eyebrow expectantly, and gave him a sympathetic but challenging look; waiting for the usually eloquent Captain to carry on.

"I uh..." He got choked up immediately and bit down hard on his lip, mentally kicking himself for struggling so badly. "I've brought you all here today to make an announcement..." He rolled his eyes at himself, they slipped shut with frustration. "Obviously..." He murmured to himself. "Because I wanted to all to be the first to know, before the world." He could feel his heart drumming in his chest and hear his pulse raging in his ears. His hands had gone clammy and sweaty, heated like a roaring fire. "As you're all aware: my friend, James Barnes..." He nearly seethed when he saw the shift in the expressions in the crowd; many people's curiosity and attention piqued by the mention of him. "Bucky... He fell to his..." Steve was visibly sickened and his stomach tightened and the stomach acid ate away at his insides. "Death. Or so I thought!" He corrected himself quickly. "A few of you, may know him by a different alias now... One that I'm not fond of, one that no one would be fond of-"

Bucky was listening attentively through the door, waiting for his queue, and paying close attention to the phrasing of the words he was struggling to spit out, wishing he could inject him with some self-confidence.

"A name that's now stained red with blood, which I want to wipe clean... The Winter Soldier."

Pepper slipped her fingers between Tony's and gave his hand a knowing squeeze as he fidgeted uncomfortably. Clint and Natasha were unaffected by the words. Bruce was slightly thrown and his eyebrows rose. Sam's expression became more hateful, but it wasn't completely clouded over by anger. Rhodey was on his guard. Thor was slightly confused, but listened none the less, he hadn't exactly kept up to date with Midgardian affairs. Fury nodded with a tough unamused expression and Phil smiled warmly, that same fatherly look in glowing in his old eyes.

"Much to my initial disbelief and grief, that man, was the very same man who I grew up with. Except he wasn't. Not straight away at least..."

Bucky's face fell and he thought hard on those words, tears gathering in his foggy blue eyes that he valiantly retained.