PART THREE
Edwin struggled up the rocks, his fat trailing in a puddle behind him. His breath was ragged as he wiped beads of sweat from his nostrils. He was too fat for this hot fudge.
"It's not what it looks like, you obese Tlingit man, no, go away." Garvey thrusted.
"Why did you just count to ten?" Edwin gurgled through blood, piss and shit. Without warning, Edwin dived for the forest floor, his rolls shaking the earth upon impact. (Later that year, they'd find out that Edwin's seizure caused the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty to crumble to dust.)
"Holy turban! He's having a mcmotherfrikin chicken Caesar!" Garvey threw himself on top of Edwin's jiggling body, rolling his tongue and blowing air into his nose. "It's not functioning! My main Tlingit!"
Cole took this chance to run off in search of Peter, his long lost spirit bear. He used his heightened senses as he dug his fingers into the soil, eating it. Worms coated his tongue, and he crushed them, like the spirit bear did to him. These aren't as bad as a mouse! He thought in an ugly way.
He could smell a shit fuming from his favourite oak tree, where he usually performed the shitting dance and oral sex with the squirrels. There was no denying it, Peter was written all over this shame. Just at the thought of this glorious masterpiece shooting out of Peter's ass made Cole wet.
Cole took off running, using his nose to smell the shit stains radiating off of Peter's ass crevice. His clothes melted off of him, but that was just in his imagination. In reality, he tore them off because he thought he was a werewolf. "Ouwwwww", he howled. Without warning, Peter howled back autistically, his voice cracking on the third W.
The duo face-planted to their hands and knees, sprinting at each other through the wood. They did not slow their pace as they got closer, only until they ran straight into each other that they decided to come to a halt. As Cole lifted himself from the mud, he swished his tongue around his mouth. There was something in there!
But what?
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groping peter's spirit ™
FanfictionWE ADVISE that you read Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen before reading, or else you won't know what the fuck is going on. ever since cole matthews was dropped like a bomb on an isolated island in alaska, he had to come to terms with the f...
