07 | Hesitation

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YOU HADN'T BEEN here today

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YOU HADN'T BEEN here today. I'd found that out when I didn't see you unpacking your backpack at your locker that morning. It was always like that. Walk into the corridor and look around for any signs of you walking past the classrooms by yourself or arranging your things.

I'd smile and wave, occasionally wishing you a good morning to which you just nodded in response. I never got a reply, but it didn't surprise me. You were always like this, though I didn't mind.

Both first and second period flew by quickly, I hadn't been paying attention when the short ringing of the bell indicated the end of class and the beginning of lunch. I was the first student out of the class, which surprised me, frankly. I used to purposely take my time just to see you for a bit longer.

I'd sounded like a complete creep and I still probably did now, but I just enjoyed staring at the back of your head as you walked away. You never really looked back, you just continued on. Your sneakers always squeaked against the tile floors and your long uniform sleeves were always rolled up to your elbows.

Finally, I'd reached the lockers, slipping past the bustling students and squeezing in between a conversation. I rapidly put in my combination, trying my hardest not to acknowledge the side glares I'd received, and fled away from the area.

Outside was cold and wet. It smelled like the earth after it had rained. I couldn't feel my fingers after a while. I should've listened to my mother when she reminded me to bring a pair of gloves that day... I didn't listen, and I suffered. The wind blew violently and I zipped my coat up higher and shoved my hands deeper into the limited space inside of my pockets.

McDonald's was packed that day, like every other. Going there would only result in wasted time. There really was no point in going anyway - I was broke. So I took the route home. I didn't know why I did, but I did.

As I went on my way, I saw someone walking just a few paces ahead of me. My heart hammered in my chest as they trudged through the muddy streets with their hood on and their head down. I knew it was you – I could spot that bright orange coat anywhere.

I'd raced up to you, a bright smile on my face as I called out your name. "Mabel!"

Your head whipped around and you stared at me with wide eyes as you muttered a small greeting. You'd stopped walking but your sneakers faced the other direction. "Are you stalking me?" You asked after a short silence.

Your question threw me off guard, and I stuttered out a response. "N-no... I'm not. Why do you ask?"

"You're always trying to speak to me," you grunted, adjusting your black bag. "Tell me, Jacob, what about me catches your attention so much?"

I... I hadn't known what to say then. I wasn't thinking when I ran up to you. It was just in the spur of the moment, a quick reaction, something that I didn't hesitate to do. And now, I didn't know what to say – I was tongue-tied.

You'd let out a mocking laugh, taking a step forward. "That's exactly what I thought," you murmured with a shake of your head.

Then you were off.

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