James and Sharna One-Shots

Journaling

AU!

Sharna P.O.V.

James,

I'm going to start journaling the day to day down, just in case you ever want to re-read the story.

Day one: it was just talk around the kitchen table. I didn't speak up as per usual. The conversation brought tears to my eyes, but I've been trained in the art of blinking them away.

Day two: it's still all talk. Nothing more than ideas, you know? I think I'm okay for now.

Day three: it's getting more and more serious now. I don't think that they're kidding.

Day four: caught a glimpse of the calendar today. We have a date: the ninth. This whole thing is slipping from my grasp, and I don't want it to.

Day five: you could tell something was bugging me in science today. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't have the heart to, so I told you that I had an interview I was nervous for on the ninth. You assured me I was going to get the role as you always do. I will be forever grateful for all those times.

Day five: I showed up at your doorstep, sobbing. I wouldn't tell you why because you didn't even ask me to, but you held me and said it was going to be okay. I will be forever grateful for all those times too.

Day six: I've been biting my fingernails more.

Day seven: I know me biting my fingernails makes you want to jump off a bridge, but it's better my fingernails be ruined than your heart, right?

Day eight: Not sure if it's the lead role or the thing on the ninth, but I had a really bad anxiety attack at rehearsals tonight. It was when you were working on your scene and I was working on mine. Don't worry though, I'm fine.

Day nine: I hate not having any control.

Day ten: I'm so control hungry that I've cleaned my room about twenty times. Also, you're coming over later to study with me, and you're staying for dinner so that's exciting!

Day eleven: it's the ninth.

Day twelve: it's still all talk. My sister loves it, but I have differing opinions. The final decision is still in the air though, fingers crossed.

Day thirteen: Prayed with our youth  minister today, one on one. It was nice, like I could finally breathe.

Day fourteen: just learned I can still go to your homecomings and proms.

Day fifteen: my parents spent a solid forty five minutes screaming about how this isn't my choice anymore.

Day sixteen: you asked me why I still looked distant even though "the interview" had been over and done with for a while now. You were scared it was something with my family, I assured you it wasn't, and that I was just tired because lead roles are a lot of work.

Day seventeen: I only like writing when it's not essays

Day eighteen: what do they want from me?