Guilt

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Katy POV.

Something is wrong, I know it. I can feel it as I look at Zak who's sat closer than ever beside me. His hand is holding mine whilst he talks to the crew about the upcoming lockdown.

He's been acting strange, sitting closer than normal, always looking at me with concern and constantly asking...

"You okay?"

I nod and give him a gentle smile.

I don't know why he's so worried, I'm okay. Tired, but I'm okay.

The crew had came to the rental we had hired out, it was a large house with a pool table, a swimming pool and a large garden. Although we wouldn't need the garden or pool itself, it was still nice to think that it was there.

"What time is the lockdown?" I ask him quietly when he's not speaking.

"It's tomorrow, not tonight." He answers.

"Oh."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I think I might go and lay down." I respond before leaving the group and heading back to the bedroom away from the loud laughter and jeering they often threw at each other.

After taking a shower, I change into one of Zak's tops and a pair of my shorts before sitting on the end of the bed rubbing my spine.

"Hey uh, do you want anything?" Zak asks as he pops his head in.

"Hmm." I nod causing him to step into the room. "Can whatever is happening stop?"

He pauses "I don't understa–"

"You're panicking, what are you panicking about?"

He looks conflicted but eventually comes and sits beside me on the bed "I won't lie to you and say everything is okay."

"Is it the lockdown?"

"No babe."

"Are you okay? It's not your chest is it?" I worry.

"No, no. It's you.. You're getting a little bit more forgetful, you also kind of flashed the crew when you removed your shirt, when you split a drink on it."

I frowned "When did I do that?"

"Earlier. At the restaurant."

"We've been to a rest- why can't I remember this?"

He shrugs "I don't know, I think it's to do with you being stressed and I feel helpless. The only thing I can say is not to worry about anything, let me handle it all. Just focus on making yourself stronger."

"But.. But I am. Aren't I? I am stronger, at least I thought I was."

"You are, you are.. But you just need a little more, whatever you can spare, that's all." He smiles as he strokes my hair back.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "Okay.. What about Billy?"

"What about him?" He asks.

"Zak he's doesn't know about us, you have to g–"

"We told Billy. He knows about us. He's not happy, but I think it's shock."

I sit back "We told him?"

Zak nodded "Listen, just relax, do what you gotta do. I'll get rid of the crew and we can spend the evening snuggled in here, okay?"

I nod back and give him a smile "I'd like that."

"Then that's what we'll do." He presses a kiss on my forehead and leaves the bedroom.

So I'm the problem? He's worried about me. I thought I was doing okay..

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