Big Bad World

My Heart Breaking pt.5

 [LACEY'S POV]

Was I hearing right? Did he just tell me that he killed someone? I scooted as close to the window and as far away from him as I could. There was speculation of whether I heard wrong or not, but I was almost sure that he had just confessed that he had killed someone. I was in a state of shock that I didn’t really know how to respond to his confession. There were so many questions and thoughts swirling around in my head. A part of me wanted to cry, and another part of me wanted to tell him that it was okay. But it wasn’t okay. There was nothing about killing a person that was okay. 

After a few moments of silence in the car and processing what had just happened a tear dripped from my eye. “Take me back to my dads” I managed to let out. Maybe a part of me was mad that he had killed someone, but the majority of me was angry that he didn’t think to tell me earlier on in our relationship. That stung worse than an army of bees. Keith silently nodded as he started the ignition to the car and drove towards my dads. The more he drove, and the more silent the car became the harder I began to cry. How could he?

“Lacey… “ Keith whispered trying to grab my hand, but I managed to push it away. “Lacey, please.”

I shook my head as the tears were violently coming. I couldn’t hold them back anymore. “Don’t touch me!” My voice was angry. I had felt like he was killing me as well almost as if he took a dagger and ripped my chest open. If only he had told me earlier on, I would have wanted to hear his explanation. I would have wanted to forgive him. It was the fact that he hid it from me; that he never bothered to tell me. Half of his story about his divorce was the truth and the other part was hidden from me. My anger got worse. Keith pulled into the driveway and before he could stop, I jumped out of the car and ran toward my house allowing my tears to come at a more rapid pace.

The door swung in and I saw my dad standing there with his black eye that Keith gave him earlier. It was hard to tell or what his expression was from the tears in my eyes. My body pushed past him and ran up to my childhood room to pack up the things that I had unpacked. “LACEY!!” I heard Keith’s voice yelling, running toward me.

‘Get outta my house!” I heard my dad shout at him. I locked my door and slid down it with tears in my eyes. What was wrong with me? Keith’s hands banging on the door startled me. I jumped and backed up toward my bed.

“GO AWAY!!” I shouted with great anger.

“LACEY, PLEASE. WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS!” He shouted back at me.

“I DON’T ASSOCIATE WITH KILLERS!” I shot back and looked at my tears in my old childhood mirror.

The screaming was so violent. There was a calm before storm, and peace before the war. It didn’t last long the though. The war sounded like two cars crashing that had set off a chain reaction. I was so angry at the world; angry with everyone, especially him. I emptied my drawers and shattered a vase or two. My bag was filled with as many clothes as I could fit. Trusting him was a big mistake. All I wanted was my best friend back. I needed Aubrey more than ever. Keith attempted to stop me with his hand, but I ran passed him with tears pouring out of my eyes. I couldn’t even look at him. How could he? Why didn’t he tell me? Was I not good enough to know? He offered his excuses between the storm and the tears. He begged for forgiveness, as if I would take him back after everything. The bullet left the gun. What was he expecting? The damage had already been done. After everything I had been through with him, this was too much. He had been everything for so long, and to see that completely shatter like broken glass stabbed me like a knife. I couldn’t do this anymore. I just couldn’t.