Big Bad World

Please Remember

[NICOLE'S POV]

 The fact that he had even decided to meet me made me believe that there was hope. There was hope that he would realize that we did belong together and that I had indeed made a mistake on leaving him. I just didn’t know how to tell him. My hands were sweaty and my body was shaky. I had gone weeks and months thinking about him. Ever since I heard about his new girlfriend, I had developed an extreme jealousy toward her. Working up the courage to tell him how I felt had taken awhile, but I knew that I was ready and prepared for the worst. He just needed to know that I was available for him. After all, we have a history; he and Lacey do not. It could take a while for him to realize that, but I was willing to convince him.

 The girls were waiting for Lacey to pick them up and take them back to Keith’s house. I was waiting patiently in a nearby coffee shop as I saw Keith and Lacey walk in. Lacey was in a separate vehicle, which gave me hope. That meant that I could have Keith for a little longer and that he wasn’t on a schedule. Lacey followed behind Keith as beautiful as ever. Her wavy brunette hair flowed beautifully. Her bronze skin tone was perfect and it was seemingly obvious that she never had to wear too much makeup to look absolutely stunning. The clothes she wore were always perfect. Lacey was perfect. Something about it had made me jealous. She was so elegantly poised, beautiful and youthful. As for me, I was none of those things. I liked to believe that I was confident enough to keep a good head on my shoulders, but around girls like Lacey it was a constant struggle. Lacey had already made me so jealous with the fact that she was walking in with Keith to pick up the girls. How was it possible to be so beautiful? She indeed was, and it wasn’t a fake beauty. Every ounce of her was real and you could see it in her face.

 While my world was somewhere else, the girls made a loud squeal as soon as they saw Lacey. Another pinch of jealousy brought me back to reality. Even my children loved her. What did this girl not have? Her hazel eyes flashed me a look and back to Keith to give him a soft peck on the lips. Jealousy wouldn’t stop pinching me and it was nearly killing me. “I’ll go do something fun with them. Just let me know when you’re done, I guess…” Lacey said softly to Keith almost as if she didn’t want me to hear. Keith gave a nod and allowed his lips to peck hers once again. My eyes looked away and guided the girls along to go with Lacey.

 After a moment or two, Lacey had finally left with the girls and it was just Keith and I. Finally, Lacey had disappeared from the scene and I could talk with him about everything. My hope was that he would understand, and at least think about it. I knew I had competition, but I would hope that I was still in his priority list. “Hi,” I said giving him a smile gesturing for him to take a seat. “How have you been?”

 Keith gave a weak smile and looked back to watch Lacey drive away. I naturally pretended to ignore it. “I’ve been okay. Just a lot of stuff going on,” he admitted.

 I gave a quick nod. “With her?”

 Keith shrugged, “Her, me, everything. I told her about Cooper.”

 My eyes grew wide and gave a nod. “How did she react to that?”

Keith looked over at me, wishing he hadn’t said anything. “Not well, at first. I didn’t get to explain though. I told her and she ran off. We spent the afternoon together though. I think we’re good.”

 “She’s not bothered that you kind of killed someone?” I asked.

 Keith shook his head. “I don’t think I killed him. It was an accident; Nic. She’s been really gracious about it. I need to let go and move on. After all, she is right. It could’ve happened to anyone.”

 “Right, yea… I mean, I’m sure she’s probably right,” I added.

 Keith nodded and poured some coffee for himself. “Yea, so what did you need to talk to me about?”

 My palms became sweaty once again as I nodded. “Um yea, well, a lot of things actually” I said as I swallowed hard. My heart was beating out of my chest, afraid, but I knew I had to tell him. “Keith, we have so much history together. I know we’ve had our downfalls, but we’ve also had not so bad days. We get along for the most part and we have children together. I know in a lot of ways I’ve blamed you for things, and have said things that were terrible. I blamed you for Cooper’s death. I suppose I thought that leaving was the best solution, and it was nice for a while, to be alone and single. I enjoyed it.” Keith’s eyes looked at me in confusion wondering where I was going. “Maybe for the time being it was good for us to be separated. I learned a lot, and you somehow managed to find a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend. We both grew, and we both still have a family together. We are still bonded together in some way and that is through our children.” My eyes traveled over to his to see his expression, but he still looked confused. I was trying to be obvious without saying anything, but of course Keith was oblivious and I had to go the extra mile to explain it to him. “Keith, I…”

 Keith’s phone interrupted with a beep. He picked up quickly to see that it was Lacey at the other end asking about some kind of guitar for Faith. Wasn’t she too little to comprehend all of what the guitar was? Musicians I never really understood, but I was still in love with one. Naturally Keith agreed for Lacey to buy Faith a pink sparkly guitar. All I could think to do at that point was shake my head. “Sorry about that. Lace is buying Faith a pink sparkly guitar. So happy about that; she’s a natural already,” he apologized. “So what were you saying?”

 It was as if he didn’t seem to care, but I was going to tell him anyway. I had to. “Keith I… I’m still in love with you. For months I’ve been trying to hold it in. You bring this… this… this model home and start dating her and I just can’t help but be jealous. I still love you. I regret leaving you so much. Keith, I’m still in love with you, “ I finally managed to let it out, hoping he would respond. His reaction wasn’t what I had hoped it would be. His eyes widened as he had sat there in silence. The moment was silent for a good long while that I was sure that I should have just gotten up to leave. “I… I’m so sorry. I know you’re with Lacey now. I shouldn’t have said anything,” I said as I began to rise up from my chair.

 Keith looked up at me, holding up his hand signaling for me to stop. “You still love me?” he asked confused. All I could do was nod in silence. “Nic… I… Lacey… I…” he jibber jabbered through his words not fully completing his thought. “I don’t know what to say.”

 I swallowed and shook my head in understanding. “I just had to tell you. You needed to know how I feel about you. I couldn’t let you end up getting hurt and having her break your heart.”

 Keith shook his head. “Lacey isn’t like that, okay? She’s an incredible girl, with such a rich and pure spirit. She’s genuinely an incredible girl. She couldn’t hurt a fly even if she tried.”

 I nodded. “Either way. You needed to know. I still love you. If you’re willing to give us a second chance, please let me know. My phone is always on. I’m in Nashville for a few more days. I have access to talk with you. If I don’t get a response from you in the next week, I will assume it’s over and move on completely. But, please think about it for our girls; for us.”

 Keith looked at me with confused eyes and shook his head. “I… I don’t know…”

 I pleaded with sad eyes. “Please, Keith? Please?”

 I watched him as he processed everything, which took him a good 20 minutes. I knew him well enough to know that it would take him some time before I had an answer. I was okay with waiting. My body walked toward him to bend down and kiss him on the lips. “Just think about it,” I whispered in his ear. “Lacey can hang out with the girls for the rest of the afternoon. Just have her drop them off. I’d like to spend the evening with them,” I added and walked out of the coffee shop leaving him alone to think. I took my chance. It was all I could do. I had only hoped that he would think about it and remember that he was in love with me too. All he had to do was remember.