I Miss You, Asshole.

I Miss You, Asshole. - Old Strangers.

February 12th

Two days from Valentine's Day. How did I make it this far without killing myself? I ask this question every day.

The weather is getting even colder. Is that possible? Snow is permanently falling from the skies, our furnace is always on, and Mom thought it'd be the greatest thing to do one family activity together - shoveling snow.

So I'm outside in the cold, wearing the biggest winter coat my mom could find. I have earmuffs on, gloves, snow boots, scarves, and everything else that could get me warm.

None of us Hushbud people could get used to this cold weather. Mom, Zach, Evan, Carly, and I all looked like a huge marshmallow family in the driveway.

We each had a shovel to move the snow into the grass. Mom had another job interview today, but her car couldn't get through. So, she rounded us all up and forced us into shoveling snow.

"This is so fun," Mom panted, trying to dig her shovel into an ice cube.

 It was five in the morning, too cold for outside, and everyone seemed to be sleepy but Mom.

"Right, Hazel-bay?" she pleaded, stepping in my hard work.

I groaned inwardly.

A pile of snow took me ten minutes to do one strip horizontal. Now it was all over the place thanks to Mom's rubber boots.

"Mhm, sure."

We shovel the whole driveway by the time 7:30 rolls around. Carly is all ready to drop me off at school and go curl up in the warmth of her bug.

"Haze," She said the minute we pull up to Brinch High. I turn to my sister with a questioning look. I smelt a heart-to-heart coming along.

"Yes?" I replied warily.

"I know it's hard," She blinks her eyes. "I know you're still hearting bad and-"

I cut her off sharply, "I'm fine."

"Okay." She frowned.

"Can I go now?"

She unlocks the door wordlessly.

I couldn't deal with people thinking I was 'fragile' after the breakup. It'd been two months since the whole fiasco. It was time to move on.

If only everyone else would follow through.

"Hazel?"

This question was so overrated, but since I'm wearing a huge, white Columbia - this question is okay to ask today.

Before turning in the direction of the voice, I pull off my beanie, earmuffs, and coat. I bunch them into a ball and turn to face the person.

"Hey, Hazel," All of a sudden, Jacob - Miranda's little brother - is approaching me. He has a delighted face on, as if happy to see me.

"Hi, Jacob," I replied, wondering why he was talking to me.

"Look, I heard what happened between you and..." I was expecting him to say Miranda, but he wiped his nose and said, "...Logan."

The memory of him warning me of what was to happen, bring its attention back to the front. Jacob told me the truth, and I brushed it off because I was so crazy in love. Fuck. I was an idiot.

"Oh, th-that's old news." I tried to say with a straight face, and failing.

"I would say I told you so, but you should've seen it coming." Jacob said rudely. "I see you guys in the hallway. He's always looking at your ass, kissing you in public and just plain crude to you."