Hard To Say I'm Sorry

1. News

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Kit read the letter once again, with his fingers tracing the thin lines where the most important sentences of the year were standing.

Carefully, he took inside the displayed information, word by word, trying to assimilate their meaning and their immediate consequences.

... After a couple of minutes, he simply gave up.

Although the news in the small paper were shocking, Kit's heart was not reacting the way it should. After knowing something like this, he should be sad, upset, perhaps with tears threatening to escape from his brownish eyes.

But the truth is, none of that was happening at the moment.

And apparently, it was not going to happen any time soon.

What kind of person I am?

Kit was about to read the letter one more time, hoping he would obtain a more human response from himself, but before doing so, he got startled when a curious hand laid above his shoulder, caring his white-smooth skin with soft yet unexpected touches.

The doctor blinked, as if waking up from a dream. Feeling how his companion started to hug him from behind, with warm arms and a strong embrace.

"What happened, babe?"

The low and manly voice became an anchor to get back Kit's attention to the earth. He was showing tranquility, yet his thoughts were a bubble full of chaos, bitterness and anxiety.

"I got a new letter from my childhood friend, Beam Baramee."

"Really? I thought he gave up on contacting you long time ago" The other person commented, positioning his head on top of Kit's hair.

Indeed. Probably Beam did give up on him in some way. Kit accepted the faith. He never took the initiative to answer any of his past letters, so it was normal the other boy would get the implicit message in his actions and stop pursuing Kit.

But this time, the letter was way more than a friendly chat and subtle coercion to reconsider old decisions.

This time, his friend had a powerful reason to write a long and expressive text.

Feeling his shirt being slowly lifted up from his tummy, Kit grumbled, stepping out of the man's reach. He was not in the mood. And he was not going to try to hide it for the other person's sake. There were so many things he must do now. Many things that are more important than having wild sex with his horny boyfriend.

Hearing the waited complains, Kit rolled his eyes, annoyed, walking to the kitchen of the shared apartment.

Suddenly, he felt thirsty.

"I haven't decided anything yet, but you should cancel the plane tickets we bought last weekend." He commented while drinking water from a glass.

"What?!" The tall and muscled man shouted, forgetting his anxious attempts to seduce his junior. He jogged hurriendly to the kitchen, willing to confront the other male. "But, Kit, do you remember how hard was to find two seats for such an important-...?"

"I know!" He answered with loud voice. The sound was more harsh than he intended. Still, he was not going to apologies to someone who was acting like a child instead of a grown up. "But I have to go back to Thailand."

The dark eyes of his boyfriend got shocked by the announcement. Kit was also surprised by his own unexpected words.

After a year away from his home town, from his country, from all the memories and pain, he solemnly swore to never go back.

But after today, after reading Beam's stupid letter, here he was, taking a risk, a chance, and throwing himself to an unknown destiny.

Unknown since the day he took his belongings and ran far away.

"Kit, babe. What are you talking about? You said you will never go back there. What's changing your mind now?" His boyfriend asked, probably trying to understand Kit's strange attitude.

"There's a reason." The doctor nodded, feeling himself drown in a comatose state.

"If you walk out of that door, you better never come back, Kittinan. I can't believe you're disappointing me again!"

"Kit?"

"You're mother did the right thing by leaving. She saved herself from the shame."

"Babe?" His boyfriend hold his hand, with concern showering his big dark eyes.

"I hate you. I don't want to see you ever again."

Yeah. There was the pain and anger, the same old friend. There was the past, haunting him as a vulnerable prey. No matter how many years had passed. No matter how fast you run.

Even though it doesn't seems like it, even though his boyfriend will not approve his spontaneous trip... Even though Kit doesn't want anything to do with it....

There's a reason to go back and face reality.

"My father's dead."

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NOTES: Hello! How are you, guys? :D (I did say I was going to post this on april 1 but I'm bored XD)

And yess, I know! How's that I am posting a new story when I still have two unfinished stories to work on? Well, that is exactly the reason why I'm writing this one. Since I've been dealing with an annoying block for my other two babies, I thought that perhaps renewing my ideas with some other plot can help me.

Also it bores me a lot to not be able to post things. (The reason why I've been so active on IG 555) So here I am, trying this. To tell you the truth, I haven't thought in a plot. This is just plain nonsense coming out from my fingers. Forgive me since now, okay? 555 Anyway, the chapters won't be too long, so I can post constantly. (Yay!)

Please enjoy and tell me what you think :)