Hard To Say I'm Sorry

11. Remember

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Last night...

After five beers and four cocktails, Kit realized something: Drinking was not a smart idea.

Probably this statement wasn't a big deal for most people... But most people aren't in his shoes right now. They're not hiding in a corner, drinking like a mad man while stalking from afar the object of his newly discovered desires.

The night was being lovely. The low music and the chit chat created a nice atmosphere. And he liked it.

However, Kit got shocked and almost fell off from his chair when, after an hour of enjoying himself, the door opened up to reveal a really extraordinary image.

A really upsetting picture, actually.

Mingkwan. Of course. You don't like me, I get it. But is this necessary? Kit thought, feeling the bitterness of the alcohol and his own self transform into his fuel of tonight. His fuel to keep up a really dangerous pace at drinking. The same one he adopted when Ming entered to the bar, with his hand firmly intertwined with a girl. An outstanding beauty.

The doctor couldn't help but scold himself. Because, why on earth he ignored the fact that handsome people is destined to be paired up with their equals?

Kit sighed, sipping from his glass one more time.

From afar, he watched attentively how the couple joyfully chatted. They were, unequivocally, enjoying the company and the beer. Maybe more than Kit himself.

Why? What are these weird feelings towards a stranger? Why now? I'm starting a new life. I'm finding peace after so many years of sorrow but, in the end, I just can't wait to find a way to torture myself.

Am I really a masochiste?

The brunette was troubled with his own discovered feelings. And the awareness of his special friend with some other person was fatal, and also too painful to stand it the whole night.

No, I'm not a masochiste. Fuck this.

Kit gave the last large sip from his drink and stood up, ready to get out of this place.

Ming is free to do whatever he wants. He is just a friend.

At the end, he will never know that the man he helped to superpass his father's dead, was stupidly developing a crush on him. A dangerous one. The type of crush that can easily become something more.

Kit cannot let that happen. He lost so many things already. He cannot lose his values too. He cannot lose his friendship with Ming.