Dysfunction (Discontinued)

DropDead Pt.1 (Revamped)

Please listen to music linked with chapter.

6am and he wasn't home. I didn't wait up like he said but it seemed like something woke me up. My bonnet was half way off my head so I snatched it off, letting my curls fall out. Making my way to the living room I sit down and turn on the Tv. I heard the front door open a few minutes later and he walked in sluggishly. I watched him go to the kitchen and pour himself a glass of water.

" Have fun ? ", I walked up to him.

" Yeah. I told you don't wait up-  ", he looked at me with red eyes.

" I didn't. I just woke up  ", I turned the television down zeroing in on him. Yeah something was up.

" I smoked ", he confessed.

Nervous tick. He had a habit of pushing the conversation to throw me off his trail.

" Oh I know you smoke baby. You didn't have to tell me. You SMELL like it ...", I spoke slowly as a warning. This was his warning. Don't push me.

His back was to me as he dug through the fridge pulling out a big piece of carrot cake. While he chowed down on it I got closer and closer to him until I was beside him. I stared at his profile while he chewed. He was nearly falling asleep as he ate. He paused momentarily and looked at me from his peripheral.

" Want some milk with that ? ", I asked. I could smell the nerves on him like a hound dog.

" Yeah ", his face went back to poker. Erik could hide emotion very well but he was still a man at the end of the day. No man is ever as smart as he believes himself to be and while Erik was a genius himself, he was still very much a typical dude.

I poured him a glass of milk to eat with his cake, setting it down by his hand. I noticed a slight jitter in his palms when he picked it up and drank from it. When he was under the influence it was harder for him to gain control of a situation. His stupid ass didn't sober up before coming back. He should have ate before he got here. I had two options, either press him and push him until we both exploded or wait and see what reveals itself. There was something about his face that just PISSED me off though. Like no matter how many times I leave a situation alone, I could feel that he thought he won. It was almost as if his energy was smirking at me when I walked away. And the crazy part is that his face could be completely blank and yet I still believed he did it from within. One thing was for sure, the eyes don't lie. Ever.

" Have I ever told you how much I love your eyes. They're so pretty ", I grabbed his chin making him look at me. The moment I touched him I knew. He pulled his face away because he hated having his face touched. I backed away because I could feel myself reaching black out territory. Not my battle today. Not today, I told myself.

Scratch on the collar bone, he smelled like cotton candy and his clothes didn't fit quite like they did before he went out. I took a mental note and went back to bed for a few hours. Erik showered and slept beside me snoring loudly as always. I got up and got dressed. I wanted a sandwich and an Arizona. The food I was craving was on the other side of the city so I'd have to get a head start. I walked down to storage and got the car so I could make my way over to a Bodega.

I drowned my thoughts out with kaytranada. Repetitive beats helped me calm down. I reached my destination and walked down to the store. I ordered a bacon egg and cheese for Erik. While the sandwich man put together our food I got a couple snore strips for Erik. It would take some time to get used to his snoring again after him being gone. After I picked those out I decided to get us some watermelon Arizona's to drink to complete our meal. It annoyed me that no matter how mad I was with Erik, I always made sure he wasn't hungry. It's not like I was his mother so I didn't quite no why I did it. I guess I could chop it up to me actually caring about him. He and I could be knee deep in an argument and I'd fix him food. I never knew when to turn off the nurturing side of myself. Maybe it was my way of dealing with stress. If I cooked this food now then everything would be okay eventually ? If I feed him now then I know things will be okay ? Maybe that's how my brain computed it ? Who knows. Cooking was my love language, you could blame it on my Taurus ascendant or maybe it was just a coping mechanism.