Torn Halfway Apart (Book 2)

Epilogue P.t 2: The Funeral

Haley's POV:

"Haley, it's time to go.  The visitations start in just an hour....  we don't want to be late."  Chloe pulls me out of bed.  I don't want to go.  I hear the doorbell ring and Chloe gets up. "That must be Max." She looks at me.  "You better be up when I get back."  She leaves the room and heads down the stairs.  I get up and brush my hair.  The pink is fading horribly but I don't care.  My soul and my twin are gone forever.  I'm about to go look at his mangled body.  I sigh and put my dress on.... a solid black satin dress cut above the knees.  I look at myself in the mirror and have horrible bags under my eyes... I haven't slept in a week... not since that day.  I pull one of Chloes cigarettes out and light it up.  Max comes up the stairs with Chloe and her parents. 

"Haley! I'm so so sorry.... if I would have known I never would have left...  I am so sorry."  Max says hugging me tight.

"S'okay....  he made his choice."  I say. 

"Max, that's the most she's spoken since that day.  Progress."

"Chloe shut up, let's go."  I push past Chloe and through Max's parents.  I don't even care enough to introduce myself. 

"Mom, dad, that's Haley.  You understand why she's like this.  She's not normally like this ever."  I hear Max behind me. 

"CHLOE, NOW!" I yell as Chloe runs down the stairs.  Max and her parents come out the door and Chloe locks it.  I get in the Impala and start it up.... I've never driven this in a long time...  I still feel him in the car.  Chloe hops in. 

"Cigarettes huh?"

"Yeah, it helps with the pain. Today's gonna be hard babe.... really hard."  I drive to the funeral home and get out as Chloe gets out as well.  I walk inside and get greeted.  I head into the room and see the coffin..... it's closed with a picture of Jimmy on the top....  I break down instantly.  Chloe helps me up and into a chair.  I look at her as she kneels down to my level.  "I love you Haley, if you aren't ready for this we can go back home." 

"No, I need to do this.  I need my closure.  I need to open it and see my brother one last time...."  I say fighting back tears.  Max walks in with her parents, followed by Kate Marsh, Dana, Alyssa, Juliet, and our other friends from Blackwell..... Mr. Jefferson is even here. 

"Haley, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know it's been a while but you and Jimmy were my favorite students."  He says patting my shoulder.  I smile weakly as he walks away.  Dana kneels down and hugs me. 

"Hale, I'm so sorry.  So very sorry for your loss.  Jimmy was so awesome and I had the biggest crush on him.  He was such a sweet heart."  She gets up and walks to a chair.  Juliet and Alyssa both approach me and give me their condolences. 

"Haley, I'm so sorry you lost Jimmy, I was such a bitch to him at Blackwell.  But he didn't deserve it.  You both didn't deserve it.  If you don't want me here I understand, I'll leave and go back home." The irritating voice of Victoria Chase speaks to me.  I cringe at the sound of it.

"It's okay, you came all the way here for this so it's okay if you stay...."  She smiles at me and hugs me which I hesitantly hug her back.

"Haley, it's time I think."  Chloe grabs my hand and leads me to the front of the room.  Chloe walks me up to the podium and and helps me stand. 

"I appreciate you all coming today and being here.  It means a lot to me, and I know Jimmy would appreciate you all too.  We are here to express our love and memories of my brother and twin Jimmy Carswell.  He made an impact on all of our lives.  He lived a very very hard and cruel life and I hate how he was wronged by so many people.  He was wronged but at the same time he found the good in everyone.  I loved him and I know we all loved him.  One of the best memories I have with him was when he would make me smile, no matter the mood he was in, he'd always put me first.  He was the perfect brother and even better best friend.  I would trade places with him in an instant but no amount of wishing will ever bring him back."  I fight off tears as I finish and Chloe hugs me.  As the paw bearers take his coffin out and walk him to the gravesite next to moms....  I lose it.  Chloe holds me as I break down as they lower him into the ground.  Max kneels down with us and hugs me tight.  "I miss you Jimmy.... so very much.  Please be good up there."  Chloe ends up carrying me back to the car as it starts pouring down rain.  She kisses my forehead and smiles.

"Haley, I love you so much baby girl, you'll always have your Chloe...  always."  I smile back and kiss her lips and close my eyes.