Bad Baby

16

A/N: I hope you're all having a nice day!

I laughed, "Jacob, you're going to need to be quiet if you want to learn to meditate".

He grinned lightly, shrugging, "how long do we have to sit like this?"

We were sitting opposite each other on the carpet in my living room, with our legs crossed and knees almost touching.

"The longer, the better. Trust me, once you get the hang of it, you'll love it," I told him, already beginning to close my eyes.

"Isis, can I tell you something?" He suddenly spoke, all teasing gone from his voice. I opened my eyes to observe him in front of me and nodded, "of course you can".

"I, uh-" he let out a small chuckle, glancing around quickly. He seemed restless, not having been able to sit still during the time I had tried to teach him how to meditate and now, with how he was fiddling with the material of his jeans on his knees, "I don't think I can meditate. Properly".

"Why?" My brows furrowed a bit. Somehow, I was expecting him to open up to me about why his leg was always bouncing and so on.

"Do you remember Alex?" He questioned, and I found myself nodding. The pretty girl I had thought he had something going on with, the first day we went to Busy Bean with our group of friends.

"I met her at this therapy support group kind of thing," he told me, as my brows raised a little bit, "I don't have a diagnosis, but I have symptoms of ADHD, and my doctor has me on pills for it, but I don't like to take them".

So, I had been right. "Why don't you like to take them?" I felt extremely good that he had told me this, even though he seemed slightly nervous about it.

He gave me a small smile, probably feeling grateful that my opinions of him weren't changing. "I don't feel like myself. I want to be normal, whatever that means. The only problem is that my mum doesn't know that I don't take the pills, and also the hyperfocus times, which are like-"

I had learnt about ADHD in a course of personal psychology I had taken back in high school, and therefore knew exactly what hyperfocus was.

I also understood that ADHD didn't have much to do with the loss of focus, and was actually more of a disorder about the loss of emotional control.

Hyperfocus is not exactly like a Flow state - talked about in positive psychology - but was really more obsessive-compulsive than that.

"I know what they are, Jacob," I told him gently, not wanting him to feel even more nervous with rambling, "I'm happy that you feel comfortable enough with me to share this".

"Yeah, I do," his smile widened as he nodded, "but I just wanted you to know so you won't be annoyed at me. This meditation shit might not like, work for me?"

"I wouldn't be annoyed at you, baby," I shook my head at him, reaching over to place my hand over his to calm it, and him. "We don't have to meditate, we can do something else".

"But I want to try it cos you like it, right?" He seemed way more relaxed again, after getting this off his chest, "it's so cool that your a buddhist, and you do stuff like this. I want to–"

I leaned in and kissed him, knowing that even I wouldn't be able to concentrate fully on myself and my thoughts with my body aching for him like this.