Radio Interview (Louis Tomlinson)

Prologue ~ Louis

A little advice... maybe you want to have a couple of tissues nearby and after reading the chapter, look at the lovely gif of Louis at the sidebar.

Dedicated to the protagonist of this story, my beloved and so sexy Havi. I wrote this whole story only for her. She is the main character.

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Prologue ― Louis

She was crying and if there was one thing I hated, it was to see her crying. I couldn’t bear to see her so broken and desperate. I stepped forward but she pushed me back shaking her head from side to side and I felt the lump in my throat forming.

Eleanor hadn’t said anything since she came to Harry’s and my flat. I was just standing there in the living room, waiting for her to say something, but she could only cry and I was starting to get desperate too. What was wrong with my girlfriend? Why was she crying? Why didn’t she let me touch her? Comfort her? Why did she avoid my kiss when I saw her at my door?

I felt this horrid knot in my stomach that was telling me something awful was going to happen. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. That coward part of me wanted to avoid all the wrong in this world and just live from the happy parts of life. But even I knew it wasn’t possible to be a kid forever, no matter how much I tried.

“Eleanor,” I called her but she kept crying, sobbing as her hands covered her face. My heart ached for her and I didn’t know what to do. “Babe, tell me what’s wrong,” I asked her, trying to reach her one more time but she backed away.

“I can’t take this anymore, Lou. I can’t!” She cried out and my heart stopped, I felt like time froze in that moment and her words repeated in my head over and over again.

“W–what do you mean?” I inquired not sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

She looked at me, her teary eyes fixed on me and I could see all the pain reflected in them, all the suffering and determination. My heart raced and fear started to run through my veins. I regretted asking that question.

“I can’t, Lou,” she repeated. “I’m tired and this is too much. I– I’m…” she covered her mouth and sobbed sonorously, her whole body shaking and I just wanted to hug her, to tell her that everything was going to be fine, but I couldn’t move, I was frozen on my spot, looking at her with my heart in my hands. “I’m not strong enough to deal with all this,” she resumed after what seemed forever, her voice trembled during the whole sentences, as much as my own heart trembled when listening to her.

“Eleanor… Don’t say that. You’re strong. We’ve been in this for a long time. You can’t give up now,” I begged. I didn’t have to pretend like I didn’t understand what she was talking about. It had been a delicate issue for us the last couple of months, but I always chose to postpone it or to pretend it wasn’t happening.

My girlfriend was receiving too much hate. She couldn’t go out without getting some death threats, without someone telling her to kill herself because she wasn’t worth it. All that was bullshit, I told her that all the time, and I knew she believed me, but– but there should be a point when you couldn’t ignore that anymore, when all that hate really reached you and broke you. Eleanor reached that point and that had been my biggest fear since a couple of months.

I loved her, I loved her so much. She was funny, she was clever, she was beautiful, she was good and she loved me, she loved me for me and not for being in a band. She had this beautiful heart that I promised to take care of, but I didn’t. I let our fans hurt her over and over again till they broke her. But what could I have done differently? I couldn’t shut all those fans that believed to know what was best for me, that believed to know Eleanor. I couldn’t fight against that much unjustified hate and because of that, I was losing the woman I loved.