Radio Interview (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 13 ~ Havi

Chapter 13 ― Havi

Just friends.

That was all we could ever be and I should be happy because it was better than just being co-workers, but I just hated those two words. I wanted more than just friends but I couldn’t have that, for reasons I had gone through in my mind many times already. I wanted to tell him in the face that I didn’t want that, that I had feelings I should not have for him but I couldn’t help it even when I was fighting against them, it was bloody difficult when he looked at me like that. I just wanted to speak out what I had in my mind, but I couldn’t. Why would I do that? It was pointless. I should be grateful that at least we could be friends, though probably that was going to make everything harder for me.

“We should go inside,” I told him avoiding his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes that sometimes seemed grey.

“Don’t you want to stay here a tad bit longer?” He asked and for a second, I looked him in the eyes, trying to understand what was going on in his mind. He seemed like he wanted me to stay there with him, just him and no one else.

There were moments, like that one when he looked at me so intently, when I felt like he wanted the same thing that I wanted. Or maybe it was just what I wanted to believe, but the intensity in his eyes was screaming something else, and there was this force that pulled me closer to him, like gravity itself. It was so strong that I didn’t notice how I took a step closer to him. Soon, we were face to face, he looking down as he was taller. I felt my heart beating frantically in my chest and my hands were tingling for the necessity to reach him.

“I don’t see the point,” I whispered still looking into his eyes and my heart beating at a very dangerous speed. “It’s cold here,” I continued but I didn’t know why I was saying that. I, clearly, wanted to stay there with him, oblivious to the rest of the world.

“It isn’t that cold,” he replied and it was getting hard to breathe. He was even closer, one more step and our bodies would collide. Even though, I still felt there was too much distance between us, I wanted his arms around me.

“They are waiting for us inside,” I reminded him though I didn’t know why I kept talking when obviously I didn’t want to go inside.

“Havi…” he mumbled the moment his hand rested on my waist. I felt shivers going down my spine when he touched me, despite the many layers between his hand and my skin, I felt that spot burning under his touch. “I’m probably gonna regret this and you’re gonna hate me, but–”

“What are you two doing here? It’s freezing! Come inside now!” We heard a deep voice calling us the same moment the window that divided the balcony and the living room opened. I looked in that direction and saw Liam.

In that moment I wanted to yell and punch him in the face for interrupting a crucial moment. Louis jumped away when he appeared and I felt the absence of his touch immediately. I wanted to know what he was going to tell me, what he was going to do, but Liam had to ruin everything.

I glared at him with pure hatred and he looked at me confused, then his eyes drifted to a very blushed Louis who was trying to avoid him. “Something wrong?” He asked and I just wanted to scream that he was what was wrong in that moment.

“No. We’re coming,” I replied and Louis just nodded. I wrapped myself better with the duvet and walked towards Liam to pass next to him.

“I’ll meet you later,” whispered Louis giving us his back. I turned around to see him, trying to know why he was staying behind, but then I understood.

What happened was beginning to sink in, and it started to confuse me. I didn’t know what was happening with him, what he wanted or had planned. He seemed to not like me the same way I did, but then it seemed like he felt the same way I did and it just confused me so much.