Manuscript by Astrid (Editing)

Tacenda

I'm just another girl in Green East High. Just like the others, nobody is special here, only individual self think our own self is special, and I respected that because sometimes I think I'm special too.

For the last two years I started to built a tall wall, that will not let anything or anyone get into my life. I won't bother to care about things that might make me unnecessarily work for or worst even suffer for. I choose not to care, I choose to prioritize myself. I've been doing just fine since the first day I started.

But now, I don't know where it went wrong, because today I have to finish what a dead girl started.

Just do your normal stuff Laurie, you'll be fine. Go to the locker then to class, sit there and wait till it's time for lunch. I can't risk another detention from missing Mr Carpabitchi class.

At some point in class, I was thinking to go all in with my spy mode and spend the entire lunch break at Ashton's block. I printed out his schedule, don't ask me how. What's important is I know his movement. But I have to restrain myself from doing so, because never risk your lunch for a boys ladies, no matter what.

I am now queued in line for the mini hotdog. Thankfully it was one of our lunch menu today, other food is shit, not all but some of it taste like it went out of date in 1950. One time I caught a moldy bread and I swear to my life that I'll never eat lunch if it's a bread day.

"Susan" I whipped my head to the voice direction, fast that could break my neck, but to find a chatting group of girls in line, who are not even paying attention to me. I shook my head lightly. One of them must be Susan. Why am I even alerted? My name is not Susan. My middle name is Eve, not even close to Susan.

Whispers and eyes makes me uncomfortable as if the stares and words were about me. Do I look like I'm hiding something or just because they have eyes and I never noticed them looking before?

"Laurie" I was brought back to the world by the harsh voice of the cafeteria lady.

"What?" I asked, for some reason I sounds in a mixture of panic and clueless. What am I? Scared that she read my mind? She just shake her head and motion her hand to the red tray in front of me. I let out an Oh. My turn.

"I'm sorry" Quickly I walked away to let the other have their turn.

I used to rather be alone but today I don't think the silence comfort me anymore. I scan the cafeteria and that is when I saw Fred on his headphones, drumming the plastic cutlery on the same material tray, throwing his head back and forward, munching his food whilst singing silently, yet passionately with his eyes closed.

I'm thinking. He's a junior, Ashton is a junior, same as Astrid, Aria and Fiona. He's perfect.

I sat in front of him, even though that's a bad idea, it's raining chewed hotdog here.

"Fred!" I called out, still he's in the middle of performing. Nope, not going to work.

I pulled the strand of his curly oily black hair. He winced as his eyes shot open. After noticing me, he grin wildly like a kid opening their Christmas gifts. He even took time, fixing his hair, straightening his shirt and even smelling his breath. I appreciate the effort but this kid is something else.

"Hey-"

"Do you see Ashton today?" I cut him off, before he even started.

His forehead creased with confusion. "Wha- why would look for him?" He let out a little nervous laugh.