Make you Smile (A Cha Eunwoo Fanfiction)

Twenty-seven

A soft knock resounded on the door not long after Jangmin's confession. I looked up and wrenched my eyes away from my brother's hospital bed, fixing them on the door.

"Come in." I was too mentally exhausted to manage even a scrap of enthusiasm. The sliding door was pulled aside and I was met with Eunwoo's meek face. In his hand, a bouquet of blue flowers with small round petals peered from wrinkled pink and white paper. He smiled, but only slightly,

"Hey." He took a few cautious steps into the room, his eyes moving from me to Jangmin behind me.

"Hi Eunwoo, what brings you here?" I could tell Jangmin was trying to act like everything was okay. It angered me, how easy it was for him to smile and be normal. So normal that not even his own sister could notice.

Eunwoo's smile tightened and I noticed how he avoided my eyes. He looked down at the bright floral arrangement in his hands, their faces shining upward as if oblivious to everything.

"The receptionist mentioned you were here. She.." he looked back at me with concern,
"She recognized me."

"Oh." Jangmin blinked once and looked down at the flowers in Eunwoo's hands, who extended them a moment later,

"I got you these."

Jangmin smiled and brought the bouquet up to his face, closing his eyes as he breathed in the scent of them.

"Here." Eunwoo's voice was trained on me and I watched him set a bag on the smooth oak table.

"Eat something, breakfast is the most important meal." I swallowed at the sincerity and care in his voice, but was far from hungry.

"Thanks." I mumbled, loud enough to show my gratitude, yet quiet enough that my breath rustled the bangs falling around my cheeks.

"Will you be able to play in the game?" Eunwoo asked. Jangmin nodded, making me clench my teeth.

"Yeah. I'll be discharged this afternoon."

Eunwoo sighed heavily.
"Be careful man, okay? I don't want you getting more hurt. Your arm just healed."

Jangmin laughed,
"Yeah, can't stop getting hurt, can I?" He turned to smile at me but I didn't smile back. There was nothing to smile at. There was only my bedridden twin scarred with cuts made by his own hands.

"Well, I'm going to meet my mom, she's here to see Youngjae." Eunwoo's lips were pulled into a line and he dropped his hands to his sides. I looked down at my lap, playing with my fingers. I didn't want to talk to him.

"Thanks for everything Eunwoo. I hope your brother gets well soon." Jangmin's voice was bright and encouraging, and if I'd looked up I would've seen Eunwoo's beaming smile in response.
As for myself, I didn't want to talk. I didn't understand why everyone smiled, why they looked at the stained bandages and the pasty skin and still smiled. They spoke like it was a normal day, like none of this was real. Yet inside, I was hurting.
I couldn't fathom any of it, I couldn't understand those smiles.

——————

It was raining. Not a torrent, nor a shower, nor a mist. A steady drip, falling from dark clouds heavy with tension. It felt to me like the sky was crying, tear by tear. I set my eyes on the gloomy view of the cracked pavement, peering into puddles of muddy water stirred by droplets. Beyond the quiet road, the corn fields glowed a misty grey green. The cold rain seeped through my clothes and to my skin. I made no move to wipe away the drops that slid down my face. At this point, I couldn't tell whether they were tears or rain. My toes felt numb in my damp shoes, but my heart felt even more so.