Make you Smile (A Cha Eunwoo Fanfiction)

Twenty-nine

My father looked lost for words for only a moment, but his answer was confident.

"Yes, I loved her a lot." He had a distant look in his eyes as if reminiscing on past moments. Then a shadow passed over his face,

"There is much your mother didn't tell you."

My throat tightened and grasped my silverware with sweaty palms. I was curious though, I wanted to know why he'd left.

"I had so many plans for the two of us." My father continued,

"We were going to live together, make money together, eventually get married and raise you both.." his voice shook and trailed off. He looked so fragile in that moment, so very sensitive.

"Jimin." My uncle said firmly, in warning. He looked up at me,

"They don't need-"

"No, I want to know." I interrupted, taking a deep breath to calm myself. I met my father's eyes,

"I need to know."

He nodded and continued shakily, tension riding on each word.
"I went away because I wanted to make that for us, I didn't want to run into a relationship without being prepared. I worked, and I bought a place."

"You told mom nothing, you broke her heart." I interrupted him, bitterness in my voice. I saw him flinch at my comment, but didn't deny any of it.

"I know, I made a wrong decision. I didn't want her to disapprove." He sighed,

"Your mother, she was so selfless. She would've never let me done something so sacrificial for her. So I didn't tell her."

There was a silence in the room that was suffocating after that moment. I didn't know what to think.

"After that.." my father went on, slowly now.

"She wouldn't forgive me. She was so angry and I couldn't understand. I tried so hard, I hurt myself and I hated myself."

A pause, and I realized I was crying, tears falling onto my cold food.

"And then when you were born, I knew why. I tried again, I tried begging, explaining, but your mother never let me come back. So I watched you grow up without a father, I watched you from afar as you changed and grew. But..." he stopped to look between us,

"The fire changed everything. I was there, when it happened. I just remember being so scared for you all. I tried to save your mother, I would give up my own life to save her." Now he was crying, looking so small and lost. He struggled to wipe them with his hands, his fingers shaking. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Jangmin was silent and wide eyed, Uncle Dong was staring at his food, motionless.

"She... she told me..." my father's voice was shaking, almost on the edge of breaking. "..that she was sorry, that she wanted to fix our relationship but she didn't know how. When she was in the hospital, she told me, begged me, to take care of you both. I promised that I would, I told her I'd never let you get hurt." He sniffed and looked over at Jangmin who was crying too.

"I'm sorry I let that happen."

There was silence afterwards as each of us sat in our own thoughts with the feelings swirling through our minds and bodies. Now that I knew the full story I didn't know what to think. I felt so bad for my father, for all that he went through. I was upset that my mother had told me nothing, but I understood her, and why she'd reacted in that way. She was only trying to protect us, he was only trying to support us. And yet, nothing had worked out in the way either had hoped.
Uncle Dong inhaled a trembling breath and wiped what must've been tears from the side of his face. He spoke slowly and cautiously,