Chapter 18

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Jumin hands his coat to me. Its so much longer and larger on me. His fits him so well.

"I can't even find you in there," he says with a smirk.

"I can't find me in here," I respond. My arms don't even reach the ends of the sleeves. He chuckles, and grabs his arm yet again.

He takes me outside into the courtyard. It's surrounded by flowers and trees. Everything about it...is beautiful.

"You see, walking is much more calming," he asserts.

"I think it's just calming with you. For you! I mean for you!" I explain.

Jumin turns his head. "Was that a Freudian slip, Miran?" He asks.

"No! Yes? I'm not sure," I explain. I want to keep a faster pace, but I like spending this time with Jumin. This time where he's enthralled with nature, and enjoying the beauty of life. Sometimes, I doubt he ever stops to smell the roses, but this proves me wrong. He literally does that on his walks.

"I like this penthouse because of the garden. This garden is what keeps me happy. I can walk around it, and think. It's nice."

"I can agree with that. I still think running is better," I say shrugging.

He rolls his eyes. "No, it's not," he says in such a way that communicates seriousness and a lack there of. Now, the next thing that happens, I don't know if he does so instinctively, intentionally, or inadvertently, but he takes my hand and holds it as we walked around the garden. He points out different flowers and tells me whether or not he likes them.

"I don't like roses," he says, looking at the red ones that cross our path. "They're plain. Common, if you will."

"I can understand that, but they are quite beautiful, aren't they?"

He shrugs. "If you like the same thing every holiday."

We continue walking, and there's something magical about walking around a garden with Jumin. Something about this insists upon the idea that Jumin has more to him. More than what meets the eye.

"Dasies were Rika's favorite, although I think she said that because V didn't enjoy them as much. Would you mind getting my gardening tools out of the shed over there? I need some roses for Yoosung's graduation," Jumin explains. I nod and head off to the shed in the far right corner of the garden. It's a long walk, but I suppose Jumin's somewhat right about the serenity here. I grab the box of gardening tools, or at least what I think are gardening tools.

"Please tell me these are gardening tools," I ask as I approach him. He's kneeling and looking at the roses, but he stands and looks in the box.

"Yes. Do you not garden?" He asks, taking out the shears and kneeling.

"Never been an interest," I explain.

"Oh. You should try it. Its calming," he says, before quickly taking his hand out of the bushes. "Except...when you accidentally scrape yourself on a thorn. Ouch."

His hands bleeding! "Jumin! Its bleeding!" I yell.

"Oh. I suppose it is."

I quickly take out my wallet where I carry alcohol wipes and bandages. I quickly take his hand with such force he moves with it. I open the wipe and clean off the cut, which is on the inside of his palm.

"Why do you carry that in your wallet?" He asks

"My mom's a nurse. It was ingrained into me," I explain. I take out the bandage and place it on his hand.

"Thank you, Miran," He says, before turning back to the roses. "I didn't know your mother was a nurse."

"We haven't exactly talked much," I say.

He takes out three roses and turns to me. "I know," he says. He brushes his hair out of his face. "Trust me, I know."

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to guilt you."

"You're not. I've already felt guilty for the past 6 weeks," he says as he cuts another rose.

"Well, I don't want that either. You shouldn't feel guilty," I explain.

"I...what is it called? I heard Zen mention it before...Ghosted? Yes. I ghosted you. And that's not okay."

"Jumin. It's okay. I'm here now. And you're here too. Maybe we'll actually talk about things," I say. By now, he's cut a dozen roses, precisely and individually. He cuts one more and begins dethorning them.

"Let me explain something. On that day we got lunch, I realized something incredibly important. That was, that I, liked a woman. That's not something I'm used to. I never imagined it would be something like this. I don't think I would have felt like this had it not been for that moment where you ran into me. Where you tried so hard to make me accept your apology. I saw this sense of determination in you. Even before the party, I knew I needed to see you again. I'm not used to fate acting on me. Does that make any sense at all?"

His speech dumbfounds me. Since the day we ran into each other? I've been this variable inside his mind for so long, and I didn't even know it. I thought it was me, acting on him, trying to convince myself not to like him. But it's been the other way around.

"Jumin. It makes perfect sense. I just didn't know, I explain. He smiled.

"I know you didn't know. That's why I'm telling you now. Beyond that though, it wasn't right for me to leave you without a job. Why didn't you come by? Criticize me? Tell me to work for you? Tell me to do something? Why didn't you do that?"

"Were you expecting me to?"

"Yes."

"I didn't stop by because I didn't think I needed to. Did you want me to?"

"Yes."

"So that you could see me or so you could actually hear me go off on you?"

Jumin freezes for just a second and then picks up all of the flowers. He takes out one, and hands it to me. "Because I wanted to see you," he says.

"I thought you don't like roses?"

"You seemed pretty fond of them. Come on. I have to put these in a bouquet," he says, taking my hand and leading me out of the garden.

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