Back to You (Sequel to Take Me Away From Here)

Chapter 17

Tim POV: 

Gracie won't talk much about what happened, but I can tell she's relieved that he's out. She's been smiling a lot more around the house, which is a relief to me. While she's moving on, Faith has been off in the week and a half since the entire debacle occurred. She thinks it's her fault, which isn't true. The guy showed no signs for being a complete creep, so she had no way of telling. Gracie also said that he had only done it a couple times, all in the weeks before I moved in. She said it never progressed to anything more than over the clothes, which is another relief to me. She also told me that she had to pretend to be asleep, because the one time she was awake, he had threatened to take it much further. I could tell it was terrifying for her, and rightfully so. 

I knock on Faith's door, surprised that she hasn't come downstairs since dinner. I hear the sound of a record playing on the other side of the door, making me smile a bit. I knock once more, after not getting an answer. 

"Hmm?" She groans, making me wonder if she's sleeping. I turn the handle halfway, testing if it's open. 

"Hey. Can I come in?" I ask, just wanting to talk. She groans again, causing me to laugh a bit. I turn the handle all the way, slowly pushing the door open. She lies on her back on the floor, a tipped over empty glass sitting beside her, while she hugs a bottle of red wine. She stares up at the ceiling, spread out like a starfish. I walk in, standing over her so she'll look my way. She places the back of her hand over her mouth, before starting to crack up. Her eyes look puffy, like she's cried today. 

"I'm a fucking mess." She confesses, wiping her eyes and sitting up. She places the bottle in the gap between her legs after taking a large gulp. I sit down on the edge of the bed, before watching her lie down once more. "Remember when you'd bring me that tea... What was it? Lavender?" She releases, her voice rasping. 

"Chamomile." I answer, smiling a bit at her, as a large smile appear on her. 

"Chamomile... You used to bring me some whenever I'd toss and turn when trying to go to sleep." She says, shutting her eyes for a moment. "Most guys would've been annoyed with the fact that I was moving so much, but not you... No... You go and make tea, and sat up to talk to me." She lets out, making me think back on those nights. She was normally stressed from work and just couldn't get her mind to slow down enough to sleep. "I tried to make it once... right after the divorce... and it tasted godawful." She says, laughing a bit at herself. I laugh with her, remembering how much honey I'd have to dump into it. She generally hates tea, but if you drop enough sugar and honey, she'll love it. "I just laid in bed and cried... That was the first time the divorce really hit me." She admits, making my smile fade. She reopens her eyes, turning her head toward me. "When'd it hit you?" She asks, although that's a loaded question. It hit me immediately, but I guess there might've been a point that struck harder than others. 

"I had a nightmare, and I woke up panting and in a cold sweat. I rolled over, wanting to talk to you about it, but you weren't there." I tell her, watching her blink slowly. "That's when it really hit me." I add, wanting to lie down now. I just feel exhausted... 

"I wish you didn't have to change..." She lets out softly. I watch her for a while, wishing the same thing. I should've never touched the drugs, and I know it. Of course, I didn't have a clue at the time. She takes a swig from the bottle, before setting it down and cocking her head a bit. "I loved you so much... and now I just feel like... like you died a decade ago, and I'm just finding out now..." She starts to cry, leaving me a little winded. She shakes her head, sniffling loudly. "That's not fair... I shouldn't..." She starts to backtrack, trying to spare my feelings. 

"It's okay." I allow, wanting to hear what she really thinks. She turns her head toward me, a stern frown on her lips. "What's changed?" I ask, trying to know where exactly I've gone wrong. She shrugs, before sighing. 

"You don't look at me the same way. I remember when we'd be in a crowded room, and I'd catch you looking at me, I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the room. You don't laugh as much either." She says, breaking down a little more. "Tim, you're not happy... God, you'd always be smiling and laughing and... now..." She completely falls apart, covering her eyes with both of her hands while she weeps quietly. I stare at her, feeling shocked at the entire episode. Is that really how she feels? I stand up, before kneeling down beside her. I lie down, leaning over her halfway. I brush away her tears, as she carefully removes her hands. "I want that back... I want you back..." She wails, before holding onto me. I rest my head onto her shoulder, feeling her cry into my chest. 

"Baby, I want to be that man again." I release, pulling back to look into her eyes. She nods,  raising her hand to wipe some residual tears from her cheeks. "I just need a little help getting back, that's all." I reassure her, hearing her shaky breath. She nods again, looking deep into my eyes. "I think you're the only one who knows how to get that part of me back." I admit, placing my hand on her cheek. She bites her lip, her eyes continuing to well up. "I know I can fix it... I know I still have that inside of me, Faith." I add, as she runs her fingers through my hair. 

"I know." She replies, relieving me a little. She leans forward, pressing our foreheads together. I shut my eyes, taking a moment to soak in her embrace. I feel a little shocked when she kisses me, with no warning whatsoever. Her lips lock onto mine, while her hand rests on the back of my head, leaning me down with her as she lies her head back on the ground. She stops for a moment, allowing us to open our eyes. She breathes heavily, while I look into her eyes, trying to gauge where she's at emotionally. "Don't blindside me, Tim... I swear to God, if you blindside me again..." She releases, while I nod, brushing back the hair from her eyes. "I can't lose you again. If you go start down that path again--" She starts to ramble, her anxiety starting to show. 

"I swear, I won't." I reassure her before she can get too far into her thoughts. She takes a few breaths, looking down at my lips. "I promise, I'm not leaving your side until they carry me away in a coffin, alright?" I reinstate, watching her nod. "You can't lose--" I start, before she pulls me toward her, kissing me again. This time things are a lot faster. I can't help but feel a rush after kissing her again. It's been a long time... 

Her hands make their way under the band of my pajama pants, making me kick them off. I slip off her shirt, kissing her shoulder for a moment. She wraps her arms tightly around me, while I can feel her heart pounding under my lips. She kicks off her shorts, before I lift off my shirt, leaving us both bare. I hesitate, offering her a moment to tell me to get away from her. That moment never comes... 

The first few moments is admittedly awkward, while she feels a little tense. I lean down and kiss her once more, before she stretches her hands out, apparently because it feels good. Her arm knocks over the wine, making her turn her head to view what she's hit. She starts to cackle, her stomach moving under mine in a way that almost tickles. I laugh at the sound of her giggling, as she turns her head toward me once more. She leans back, before accidentally snorting, making me laugh even harder. 

"Stop it!" She shouts while mid-laugh, placing her hand on her stomach. After the laughing subsides, a feeling of nostalgia hits us, mixing with a new sense of comfort. She kisses me, resting her hands on the back of my neck. "I think the bed would be a little more comfortable." She remarks, making me laugh. I nod, lifting her up and carrying her. She laughs as I hoist her up, laughing even harder as my weak knee gives out, causing me to crash down on top of her, luckily on the bed. "I miss this." She lets out, making me laugh. 

"Oh do you?" I reply, feeling a little cocky. She rolls her eyes, smiling a little. 

"Don't let it get in your head." She remarks, before kissing me again. This seems like some kind of dream... It doesn't feel realistic. A couple weeks ago, this girl wouldn't even look me in the eye, and now we're here, doing this? What the hell changed her mind? I guess I need to get out of my head, and hope that whatever changed remains unchanged after this point, allowing me to actually sleep in peace, by her side.