Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Twenty-Five.

Harry's pov-

My lips were kiss- swollen and my fingers tingled as I traced them over and over again. She knew. The feelings I had kept in for so long were finally out there and I had kissed her. She kissed me back. She actually kissed me back. Everything was perfect in my fucked up world for a few minutes, that was until she ran out.

I know I should have ran after her. I should have ran after her and begged her to stay with me but I couldn't. I was too stunned to move my feet.

I had been stressing out since she ran away. I tugged at my lip ring so long that my lip began to throb. I was dying for a cigarette and I hadn't smoked since I started working at the police station.

I grabbed the one pack I had out of my night stand drawer and started for the door. I wouldn't smoke in my apartment. It would smell terrible. I promised myself just one, it was a filthy habit anyway.

The wind whipped around me as I lit up. After three tries, the end of the cigarette burned a bright red. The familiar suffocation of smoke burned my throat as I took the first drag. I felt the stress of the morning gradually simmer down to a dull roar as I took puff after puff. This is why I had become addicted to the stupid things in the first place.

"A cigarette, Styles? Really?" I spun around to see Ashton, a hoodie covering his body and sunglasses covering his eyes.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help a smile from creeping onto my face. "Oh shut up." I passed him the remainder of the cigarette and he puffed on it a few times before stomping it out completely.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I wondered, crossing my arms over my chest for warmth. I should have work a jacket.

"The guys said you wanted to see me. You weren't answering your phone, either, so I volunteered to come check on you."

"Well, I'm fine." I laughed. Truth be told, I wasn't fine. The girl I loved was pressed against me only an hour ago and I let her go.

Ashton breathed out of his nose loudly, I had come to know it as his laugh when something wasn't actually funny. "You don't sound too convincing."

I motioned for him to follow me upstairs. I counted the stairs as I went up, 12 steps, and the amount of time it took me to open my apartment door, 5 seconds. Ashton's heavy boots clunked all the way up. I was guessing that meant that all was forgiven and we could go back to being friends again.

"What's wrong, bro?" He asked as he plopped down on my couch.

"how much time do you have?" I joked, shoving his feet off my coffee table as i plopped down next to him.

He pretended to look at his nonexistent watch and then shrugged his shoulders. "However much you need." I always knew Ashton was a good guy.

"Then sit tight because this may take awhile..."

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Lily's POV-

I had been staring at my wall for the latter part of the afternoon. I couldn't think straight and my hands were still shaking. All the thoughts swirling in my mind were starting to give me a head ache. Was I crying? Jesus, I had been doing so much of that lately.

I had gotten a lecture from my parents as soon as I called them to pick me up. I had to lie and tell them it was a friend from school's apartment, but since I was a legal adult there wasn't much of an argument on their side.

A knock on my door nearly made me fall off my bed in fright. Before I had time to wipe my eyes and turn around, whoever it was opened and stepped in, closing it a little too hard behind them.

"Hi princess," he said, climbing onto the bed behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He pulled me into him and I rested the back of my head against his chest. I started crying even harder because I knew I would have to tell him.

"Hey, shh," he said as he planted kisses into my hair. I wasn't mad at him anymore. I couldn't be, I was too busy being mad at myself. "I'm so sorry about last night and I just want you to know that I would never ever pressure you into something like that." His voice was soft and it calmed me down a little. Only a little.

"I know," I turned my body around to face him. He was sitting with his legs open around me and I was absentmindedly playing with the zipper on his soccer jacket. The bags under his eyes were a deep purple hue.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, leaning forward and planting a kiss on my forehead.

I should have told him. I should have told him right there and let him decide on what to do. Instead, I panicked.

"I love you," I blurted out.

His face contorted into something unreadable, changing from shocked to a frown to a gentle smile.

"I love you more," he said simply, once again leaning forward to place a kiss on my forehead.

Even though I said it, I wasn't so sure that's the response I wanted. And as he said the words, I heard Harry's voice in my head instead.