Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Forty- Four.

I pulled my sweater over my hands tighter before wiping the sleep out of my eyes. It was still dark outside, but the lights of the airport were nearly blinding on my only half- awake eyes. It was bustling, despite the fact that it was literally four am, but this town always seemed to be way too busy after major holidays. Gemma sat beside me on one side, earphones in her ears and her head on my shoulder as she slept. Her thick- framed glasses had managed to slide down her nose and she looked like a bum clad in a crewneck (which was mine) that was nearly four sizes too big for her small body and a pair of baggy grey sweatpants. Lily sat on my other side, watching people walk by and every so often letting out loud sighs. She wore sweatpants and a Stanford sweatshirt I forgot I even had (a perk of being accepted into their school, they'll literally send you any type of alumni merchandise to try to persuade you to go there) but she was still shivering from the cold of the outside that seemed to seep through the buildings walls.

"You can go back to sleep, you know," I mumbled into her hair. "I'll wake you right before I go."

She rubbed her eyes tiredly, the bags underneath them making her blue look like a blueberry instead of that beautiful ocean color I loved so much. "I'm okay," she said with a half- smile. A tall blonde with way too perfect make up for it only being four in the morning scurried past us and Lily kept her eyes trained on her, letting out a loud sigh when the woman went through security.

"What's the matter with you, huh?" I teased her, poking her side a little. She winced, grabbing her side but offering me a smile.

"Nothing," She lied. Her eyes were now trained on a petite redhead who was wearing the tightest jeans I had ever seen in my life.

"Lily," I tried, knowing that she was lying.

She sucked in a breath, puffing her cheeks out and then released it. "I see all of these girls and they're just so... beautiful. With their long hair and their bright eyes and-"

"So that's what's wrong? You don't think you're beautiful?"

"Not really," she shrugged. She said it so nonchalantly, as if my heart wasn't being shattered with every single word that left her mouth. "At least not compared to other girls."

"Lily-"

"No," she cut me off, shaking her head furiously. "I just wish that none of this ever happened. Fuck the cancer. Fuck shaving my head. Fuck my body for being like this. Everyone looks at me like I'm a freak now and it sucks because I just know that they're right. I just want my hair back. I just want to have one normal day and feel pretty again."

I closed my eyes tightly. "Baby," I tried, putting my hand under her chin and forcing her to advert her gaze from the dirty airport floor. "Having cancer doesn't make you any less of a person than what you used to be. You're still that same girl I fell in love with six months ago." Had it already been six months since that party? Holy fucking shit.

'I just want to be able to look in the mirror again without wanting to cry," She whispered so low that I wasn't even sure I had heard her correctly until she looked up at me with her sorrowfilled eyes. She had been acting off since the doctor had called, I just didn't know this was the reason she was so upset.

"That's bulshit" i told her, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat from trying to hold back my angry, heartbroken tears. "Lillian I'm looking at you right now and thinking how ridiculous it is that you think you need to compare to these other girls, because you're so much better than them."

"Harry-"

I held my hands up to get her to quit talking and she looked straight at the ground. I pulled her in close and pressed my lips against her hair. "Who are you going to believe, baby?" I murmured, placing a kiss to her head when she let out a loud sigh. "Your brain that's constantly trying to bring you down? Or the guy who just so happens to think you're the most stunning woman on the entire planet?"