Recovery / / h.s

Chapter Thirty-Nine.

Harry's POV-

I had no control over anything anymore. It seemed like everything was just going downhill, and I had to stand back and watch as things kept getting worse.

Lily had leukemia, which absolutely scared the shit out of me. I would never tell her this, but the day she was diagnosed I probably spent more time in our bathroom crying than she did in bed all day.

I couldn't lose Lily. I tried not to think about what would happen if she didn't get better for whatever reason, but it seemed to be the only thing I could think about. I knew she was hurting and that made me feel like shit because I couldn't do anything to make her better.

What made matter worse is she was starting to lose her hair. The pamphlet had warned us that this would happen, but neither one of us expected it to start so soon. Each time she washed her hair or brushed it out, she spent an hour bawling her eyes out while she cleaned out the drain. I couldn't even run my fingers through it anymore (which I usually did as she fell asleep) because her hair was just too brittle and it would come out in clumps at my touch.

I was sitting at the table in the kitchen, snacking on a bag of chips and answering a text from White. It was unusually warm considering how brutally cold it had been every day since thanksgiving and I was able to walk around in just a pair of plaid pajama pants without freezing my ass off. I hadn't even heard Lily come into the room and only recognized her presence when she plopped down into the wooden chair beside me and peeled open the packaging on her favorite strawberry- banana yogurt.

"Good morning, sleepy," I teased her, nodding towards the clock that showed it was almost two in the afternoon.

She groaned before shoving a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth. "Don't even judge me," she pointed her spoon in my direction and I put my arms up defensively even though I was smiling.

"Not judging," I told her, leaning over and kissing her forehead. "How'd you sleep?"

"Terribly," she responded, her mouth full of yogurt.

"How come?" I took her hand and traced the lines in her palm. She stared at her hand blankly.

"I decided I'm going to shave my head."

"You're going to what?"

"I'm going to shave my head," she said again, throwing her spoon down on the table and yanking her hand away from me. "It's already falling out anyway and pretty soon I'll just look ridiculous so why not?"

"Are you sure that's what you want to do? I mean-"

"Yes," she cut me off. "I'm going to do it and you're going to help me."

"Lily," I said, unsure of what to say but still saying something?"

"Please?" She jutted out her lip and climbed into my lap. She had been doing that a lot lately and it drove me insane and it usually led to me giving her whatever she wanted. Damn Lily for having me completely wrapped around her finger.

"Alright," I sighed and she offered me a smile. I knew she didn't want this, but she thought this was what was best for her and I wouldn't argue with that. I wouldn't argue with the kisses she was placing all over my face either.

She stood up, grabbing my hand tightly and leading me to the bathroom. She already had my electric shaver waiting on the countertop next to the sink.

She stood in front of the mirror, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready."

Except she really didn't look ready. She looked uneasy, like she was about to burst into tears. I placed a reassuring kiss on her hair, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind.