Forbidden Pleasures

[17.]

When you've been at a shitty place once and you got a chance to get yourself together and things start looking a little brighter, there's a lot a person would do to not get back to that shitty place.

I choose to beg. "Adrian, please. I won't do it again, I promise, please, don't do this." I'm desperate. If he lets me go, that means I not only lose him but I lose everything else. I go back on the street because I have nowhere else to go. And it's the middle of winter.

"Yeah? Do you know how many times I've heard the same thing?"

I'm shaking. "I didn't hear the alarm! I was tired. Please."

He tilts his head to the side. "Does this excuse change things?"

"I – pardon?"

"Your excuse. Does it change what happened?"

"Well ... no, but –"

"Then find another one."

"Disculpe?" I ask.

Adrian shifts on his seat so he's facing me. "I will not cut you any slack just because you have a great pussy. I told you, Cassandra, it's on you if you keep the job or not, only by the way you do it. And I was not satisfied with you today. Therefore, you must learn your mistakes have consequences."

"Adrian –"

"Do you feel like you're entitled to use my given name right now?"

My mouth parts open. Is this the same man that came in my room in the middle of the night and fucked me? "You ... you told me to call you that, I –" I'm rambling, I'm desperate and I'm scared. Oh, so damn scared.

"I did, indeed. But, right now, Cassandra, do you feel like you're in the place to call me by my name?" He's stoic, showing no emotions. And I swear, at this moment, I hate him. I truly hate him. He's being an asshole – unnecessarily.

He could do this in a nicer way. "I guess I'm not," I mumble, defeated. I'm afraid to say anything that'd piss him off even further.

Adrian nods. "You can go get your stuff. Milena will take over."

That's ... it? He's truly firing me. I've lost my job. Truly. I couldn't even keep a simple job like this, that's what a failure I am.

I walk to my room without any further words to at least keep some of my pride and dignity.

I almost lose it when I come into my room. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown but I don't let myself break.

I don't have much of my stuff, anyway and the packing doesn't take me long, especially because I haven't unpacked the clothes, anyway. I don't even need them since I have my uniform.

I pack my stuff slowly, dragging the moment I'll have to leave. I can't believe this is actually happening. But with the money I earned, I might actually buy warm clothes and food to survive. Before I came here, I didn't even have that.

I stand by the window, staring out at the sad sky, mocking me when the knock comes. I don't answer, but my body jolts. I'm afraid to turn around.

The door opens and then ... silence. A look over my shoulder tells me it's Adrian. He's casually leaning against the doorframe, the top three buttons of his light blue dress shirt opened, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He's not wearing a suit jacket or a tie.

He looks relaxed while I'm a mess. I look towards the window again so he doesn't see the single tear that falls down my cheek. I quickly wipe it. I don't let myself cry. I don't deserve to feel sorry for myself. It's all my fault.