Forbidden Pleasures

[38.]

I'm nervous on the drive to the gynaecologist. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what the outcome is going to be and I especially don't know what Adrian's reaction will be. I fear it, but it's also my fault and I really shouldn't mope around because of a situation I intentionally created.

It wasn't the wisest idea, it wasn't the best one I've had and I don't even know what I was thinking. But ... the possibility of having Adrian's child fills me with warmth. But what scares me is his reaction and him leaving me.

"You're unusually quiet. Is everything alright?" Adrian asks, putting his hand on my knee.

I turn my gaze away from the window. "I'm just admiring the scenery," I say. It's not exactly a lie. But it's not the whole truth.

Adrian doesn't seem to believe me either. "Are you sure? Because if anything's bothering you, you can let me know."

No esta vez, Adrian. Not this time. I just shake my head. "No, I'm really fine. I just like watching the city. I don't know much of it."

"Really? How come? You've been living here for a few years now already."

"Yes, but I never really came around to know it. It's always been my dream living here and I visited some places when I moved here, but then other things came in-between and I didn't really have the time nor any wish later on to go on trips around it. I also didn't have money."

Adrian's eyes soften at the mention of me not having money. I know this is a foreign concept to him, but I got so used to it that I probably wouldn't know how to live any other way. My family was never rich. We had enough money to survive and sometimes treat ourselves, but nowhere near close to Adrian.

Money doesn't play an important role in my life. I want it enough to survive and have a roof above my head, I'm not the one for wanting luxury. I don't even enjoy that. I like simple things.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore," Adrian says quietly.

I turn to look at him, unable to hide my surprised expression. "I'll always have to worry about that, Adrian."

I see how he presses his lips together, but he doesn't make any further comments about this matter. "How much longer until we're there?" I ask.

Adrian glances at the clock. "Twenty minutes, I'd say."

And that suddenly feels way too soon. My foot starts tapping against the floor and I suddenly feel restless. I feel sick.

Adrian notices the movement, of course, forever the observant one. "You have nothing to be nervous about, Cassandra."

If only you knew ... "You would really know that, wouldn't you?"

Adrian lets out a chuckle, completely ignoring that my tone turned harsher, even though that wasn't my intention. "That's what the good doctor assured me and I chose to believe her."

"Since when did you become so trusting?" I wonder, my voice lighter this time.

Adrian looks at me with amusement before he switches the lanes. "The only time I don't trust people is when I have a feeling I can't trust them. My intuition is very strong and rarely ever wrong – if ever."

That makes me interested. I turn in my seat, facing him. "De verdad?" Really? "And what does your intuition say about me?" I want to know, although I'm almost afraid to do so.

Adrian is silent for a second and my heart starts beating a little faster. "I thought I made myself very clear that I trust you more than anyone. And my intuition says it's the right thing to do." He nods to himself and he actually looks proud to say this.