Forbidden Pleasures

[29.]

Welch's have a traditional Christmas party every year – or so Milena tells me. It's always fun, which means there's a lot of work, but people tend to be nicer. Milena claims even Mrs Welch isn't so uptight at that time. I don't really believe that, so I'll just have to wait and see if that's really true.

Adrian allowed me to wear a different outfit tonight. He said there'll be a lot of people – even men and he said he knows how they are and what will go through their minds. And he said he doesn't want anything to happen to me if it's in his power to prevent it.

I don't know if he realised it, but he admitted that he's jealous – once again. And him being protective of me made me feel things I shouldn't really feel. It doesn't help the situation at all.

Adrian changed his behaviour towards me a bit. He became more ... attentive. After what happened last week, he constantly asked if I'm alright and if he hurt me. He was really worried about me.

I like this side of him. But I'm also scared. Because if this is him; the real him, under all his business suit and serious face that gives a look of a cold-hearted businessman everyone should fear ... if under all of this, is hiding someone so nice ... I'm afraid I'm in for a massive heartbreak.

A man like him would never settle for a simple woman like me. I'm realistic here and this is how it works. I know it. And even if he did, a woman like me could never hold his interest for long. He's constantly surrounded by great, amazing, successful and beautiful people – especially women.

Someone else could easily steal his interest. Because, let's be honest, I have nothing when there are others who have everything sorted out already. They know what they want in their lives, they're doing something for it and they don't have to work as a housekeeper to finish a school and, most importantly, they don't live on the streets. I believe they all have something and someone in their lives. I really have no one.

So, this is fun and this is building my confidence a little that a man like Adrian would desire me, but this is not a permanent state. This will end one day and I can't lie to myself.

I have a busy night ahead and there's no time to think about stuff like this.

But when Adrian told me there are going to be men here tonight, I should have also known that there are going to be women here. A lot of women. And there's that one ... the one he brought here once before, the one who was all over him and even dared to kiss him.

I almost drop the tray with drinks when I see him talking to her. I'm instantly jealous, with no right to be. Mrs Welch is close to him, but they're not really ... together.

I think they put on a great show for others. They might fool others, but I know how things really are between them. And, therefore, if he shows her any affection, it doesn't bother me that much. It's still weird seeing it, but since I know him and since I've been around them for some time now, I learned how to read their body language, especially Adrian's.