Falling Slowly

Pt.1|Ch.5

•••••Austyn's Perspective

Josh drove us to the restaurant that night.

I mostly sat in silence, with the nagging feeling in my stomach at full strength.

I was dangerously close to crossing the line, like walking precariously on the very edge of the Grand Canyon.

"It's just one night." I had told myself. "Only one night."

The boys assisted me in pushing my worries aside, with their singing in the car being louder than the screaming in my head.

"Are you in college right now?" Sky asked me as Ben chose the next song.

I almost groaned. Why did he have to talk?

"Yeah, I am. I'm a junior."

"Where do you go?"

"I'm taking classes online, right now, but I'm going to physically go to classes for senior year."

"Cool. Which college?"

I shrugged. "My mom and I are talking about it. I really don't know what I'm going to do with my life." I gave a light laugh.

"You might get the audition." He suggested. "Then you'll have had your Broadway debut."

"Oooo, picture me on Broadway." I said sarcastically.

Sky didn't laugh. "I'm serious."

"I know." I dropped my smile. "This is your life. I've just never thought of it being mine."

"Music seems to run in your blood, though."

I stiffened slightly, knowing exactly what was coming.

"Does anyone else in your family do theatre?" He asked, shattering my hopes that prayed otherwise.

I didn't answer, wondering if he was as quick as Ben.

He wasn't.

"Austyn?"

"Sorry. Um, I don't know. I haven't ever heard about anybody who did."

"You should ask."

'I hate you, Sky Flaherty.' I thought, mentally begging him to stop talking altogether. Instead of voicing my wishes, I flatly agreed with him.
"I should ask."

"You seem uneasy." He said, lowering his voice for my sake. "Do you feel okay?"

'No.' "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you need anything?"

'I need you to shut up as soon as possible.' "No, thanks."

"You're not a very good liar."

'I'm working on it.' "I'm not lying. I guess I'm just...tired."

He sighed. "Look, I know you just met me, but please let me know if you need anything."

I felt my eyes start to sting, his words running through me like daggers. It was like he was stabbing me over and over and over again, and yet completely unaware of it.

"Thank you, Sky. I'm okay for now."

"Alright." He finally fell silent.

"How do we feel about 'Defying Gravity'?" Ben called from the front seat. "Nevermind, I'm not asking for your opinion."

He pressed 'play', and the car was once again filled with the boys' loud voices.

It drowned out my thoughts, rendering me unable to think about the fear that seemed to be devouring me from the inside-out.