Falling Slowly

Pt.2|Ch.13

I listened to "She Used To Be Mine" from Waitress while I wrote this, and cried, so yeah don't do that.
...but of course if you like making bad decisions, I put Jeremy Jordan's rendition of it at the top👍🏼
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•••••Austyn's Perspective

I never expected a text message from Ben.
I never expected myself to respond to it.
I expected myself to lie; it was all I'd been doing for the past week and a half.

But I never expected to call and confess that.

I guess I should have seen it coming; somehow, I had felt worse in the past three days than I had the night after she died.

I'd retreated to my room, taking my books with me.

I'd jumped at every little noise, making it significantly more difficult to sleep, but I scarcely moved from my bed, so it didn't matter.

The rumbling of winter thunderstorms outside was as loud as the rumbling in my stomach, calling out for food, but I didn't hear either of them.

Sky had stopped asking how I was, because I stopped answering.

I had been completely alone, and I'd liked it like that.

But when I got his message, the first time I'd heard from him since that night, I finally snapped.

I was no longer just broken, alone, hungry, or tired.
I was too broken.
I was too alone.
I was too hungry.
I was too tired.
I didn't just need to talk to someone.
I needed someone.

I don't know how long I sat there, huddled by the front door, waiting as the rain lightly pattered against the windows.

It felt like forever, but a knock finally came.

I stood up and opened it before he could knock twice.

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him without a word, and holding me as close as possible.

I think we realized at the same time how thin and frail my figure was in his arms.

He looked down at me. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

"Three days ago." I mumbled.

The light went out of his bright blue eyes, leaving only the pain that I'd caused him. "Austyn," He began.

I cut him off, pulling away from him. "I'm sorry,"

He stretched his hand out to touch me. "You don't need to—"

"I shouldn't have asked you here." I said, backing away further and feeling the regret bleed through my thoughts. "You should go home."

"I'm not leaving." He shook his head, but he stopped trying to reach me. "I'm not leaving you alone again."

"Why not?" I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "I'm fine by myself, I can take care of myself."

"Clearly not!" He retorted, raising his voice. "You haven't eaten in days, you obviously haven't been sleeping well, and you haven't seen the light of day in who-knows-how-long!" The volume of his tone climbed higher. "You could've killed yourself, Austyn! You could've died! That's not what I'd call 'taking care of yourself'!"

Startled by his outburst, I took another step back, feeling the emotion rise in my throat.

He sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you. But you can't live like this anymore. I won't stand here and watch you."