Falling Slowly

Pt.2|Ch.9

I sat on the edge of what used to be my bed.

It had been stripped of its sheets and mattress, leaving only the old, wooden frame.

What little I was taking with me had been packed into cardboard boxes, and everything else would be sold or given away.

The dishes, the silverware, the furniture, it would all be gone tomorrow.

Pretty much everything would be taken away, but I made sure the photos stayed.

I wasn't sure how Sky would feel about having 20 or so picture frames scattered about his apartment, but they were too valuable to me.

Soft knocking sounded at the door.

"Hey," Aiden leaned against the doorframe.

"Hey," I mumbled, looking down at my feet.

She gestured to the boxes. "You need any help with this?"

I shook my head. "I have everything I need."

"Sky'll be here in a few minutes to load the car." She took a step inside the room. "Can I sit down?"

"Yeah," I moved over, making room for her.

She sat down and exhaled sharply, as if bracing herself. "How are you doing?"

I bit my tongue, trying to prevent myself from telling her the truth, but the last three days had taken their toll on me.

The night it happened was now a whirlwind, but I remembered it all too vividly.

The paramedic's dull and unfeeling voice, telling me that there was "no bring her back", and that she was "gone for good".
Their straight faces as they took her body away.

They had no idea what I'd just lost.

I nearly ran after them as they drove off, and Ben had held me down.

We—I—didn't have money for an actual funeral, but the boys pulled together enough to buy my mom a small headstone, and Aiden had a family friend that was a pastor. He agreed to do the eulogy, and just like that, the affair was settled.

Settled.

The word made it sound like it would all be over when the ceremony was adjourned.

It made it sound like I wouldn't have the scar for the rest of my life.

Like I was dealing with little less than a scratch rather than a gaping wound from a gunshot, not even close to healing.

I wasn't sure it ever would.

Aiden sensed my inner turmoil, and set her hand gently on my shoulder. "Austyn?"

And that's when I told the first lie.

"I'm fine."