Treat Me Like a Game, and Ill Show You How Its Played

Chapter 21: Living in the Moment

"It's- It's me..." I look at Luke's drawing that has been keep secret for weeks, "You drew me." I look at the face that stares back at me. I close my eyes and open them again, thinking this is all a dream or is unreal. Luke didn't draw me... why would he? The picture is a mirror image of my face and I stare, wondering how he got my face so perfect without some sort of picture. Then, I see the picture taped onto the sheet behind, the first day of junior year. Confusion overcomes my face.

"How did you-"

"I got the picture from Jade. She had one on her camera- you know... for photography class- and she gave it to me. She couldn't understand why I wanted the picture in the middle of the year, but she printed out the picture in her class and gave it to me."

I remember how Jade was freaking out that day, saying it had to look perfect for her first day of the class. She had gotten me into position and took hundreds of photos, only keeping one at the end. I must've been in that position for an hour. My curled hair falls in front of my face as I lean forward in the picture, my sweater falling off my shoulder to reveal my layered, flowery tank-top with skinny straps. A few bracelets wrap my wrist and my eyes show playfulness, seeming to draw you in. I look at Luke, who is looking at his work, and back at the black and white pencil drawing.

"Why did you draw me?" I questioned softly, looking over at Luke who is avoiding my gaze.

"I guess I missed you at the time. Yeah... that's pretty cheesy. But, I couldn't believe I would ditch my best-friends for some crowd that wouldn't be important at the end. People said you have some sort of "type" of person you want, and I thought it was the popular crowd, yet everyone I was attracted to was only temporary. I know I seemed like an conceited asshole around them, because that was how they were. Every time I saw you, a smile on your face, I would think, 'Man, that beautiful girl could be mine one day if I cut this stupid act and go back to hanging out with her and my own friends.'" He smiles, looking down at his hands. "Forgive and forget. I forgave myself for becoming such an idiot- enough to ditch you and Jade and Noah- and forget the old me who was an arrogant man-whore who hung out with the wrong people when the person I really liked, the one who wasn't fake, was right under my nose.

He pauses, "I would get jealous seeing other guys around you and seeing Riley. I hated myself for letting some other guy make you smile when it could've been me making you smile that beautiful smile of yours. I knew I wasn't the one making you laugh or I wasn't the one that held you when you needed a shoulder to cry on." He sighs, "That was the thing pulling me away from you, as dumb as it sounds. I thought if I was popular, you would notice me and would come talk to me again. It was then I realized, you would never step foot into their territory because you didn't want anything to do with the "popular" crowd." He stops and looks at me. He quickly looks back down, readying himself to spill for information.

"I knew if I drew the picture, I'd always have some sort of you with me hidden away from everyone else to see. I know that sounds creepy on many levels, but I wanted to hold onto the memory of the girl I let slip through my fingers." He looks at me and smiles, once again, looking down at his hands. I let the information process in my brain before I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder. He looks at me and smiles before laying his own head on mine, "I'm not who I was before." He whispers, "And now, I got the girl I always wanted."

"I noticed you when you changed. I know stopping habits is hard and to see people actually trying to fix their mistakes by breaking habits, just to see someone happy, that to me is attractive. Not some popularity rank." I say. We enter a peaceful silence, the only sound is our breathing.

"I won't say 'I love you' because I don't think I know what love is and I don't want to lie to you. But, I will say that, I like you and I enjoy your company and I like seeing you smile and laugh. You make me happy when I know something I did made you in a better mood- like when we were dancing at Ash's party- and I like when you lean into me like you are right now. It makes me feel wanted for the first time in a long time." He pauses, "That speech was really cheesy, wasn't it?" He smiles down at me.