I sat on the pale white sofa with my knees hugged to my chest, a mug of hot tea in between my cold hands. After I had practically melted away in Louis' arms and he had finally calmed me down (after a good twenty minutes) Louis had helped me to the sofa, basically dragged Harry to the kitchen, reappeared with some tea for me, and then stalked back off. I hadn't seen Harry since he'd been gone at least a half an hour ago.
I had no urge to move from my place. I was angry and sad. I was mad at myself for allowing my previous scars to reopen. It was stupid.
I was exhausted as well, but I was stubbornly keeping my eyes open.
"Alice." I looked up to see Harry leaning in the doorway. His eyes were dark, and even from a distance I could tell that there was no shred of the natural color in them right now. I wondered if he was angry with me.
I didn't reply, just stared at him.
"Are you okay?" his voice was a monotone.
"No," I answered truthfully.
The first real emotion flitted across his features, a look of confusion. He obviously hadn't expected my answer. "No?"
"What's the point in lying?" I repeated his previous words. The corners of his lips turned up in what I supposed was his attempt at some sort of smile, but his eyes were too dark and his voice too flat for me to feel any ounce of happiness for it.
"There is none," he answered. "Lies only bring pain... I don't want you in pain."
My teeth immediately clenched together and I couldn't help but shake my head slightly as I looked down at the swirling hot tea in the mug between my fingers.
"I don't," he repeated, grabbing my attention.
"I want to go home." I wanted to be free of Harry right now, but he was stubborn, and I was unsure of how to possibly make it so that he wouldn't feel an obligation to me anymore.
"We've already discussed this--"
"No," I cut him off as I set my tea on the coffee table. "You've decided that I can't go home. We never discussed it. I get why you don't want me to go there. I understand it. But I don't care. I'll have Shane stay with me."
"Because that worked great last time," Harry replied smoothly, referring to the shooting at my work. Oh no, my work. I hadn't even thought of how in trouble I must be there. It had been a few days since I'd last shown up there, which meant I still had maybe two or three days before my article was due. It didn't matter. I was surely going to get fired.
"It'll be different," I assured him. "Harry, I don't want this. I want my life to go back to the way it was before... before you."
His eyes flashed dangerously. I knew that my words had struck something inside of him. By the way his fists clenched, his jaw clicked, his eyes darkened, I knew he was livid. I wondered what his reaction would be. I felt frightened by what he might do.
"Go." That was the one parting word he gave me before he walked down the hall toward Zayn's room. The harsh slamming of the door shook the entire house.
Louis appeared in the doorway seconds later, a frown etched onto his features.
"I--"
"I heard it all," he interrupted me quietly. "Come on, babe. Lets get you home."
---
I thought that cuddling under a blanket in my favorite pajamas with Finding Nemo on the television and Twilight in my hand would give me a feeling of accomplishment and happiness. Like, 'Way to go, Alice! You did it!' but instead I felt as if those words should be directed sarcastically at me. I'd finally gotten away and pissed off the one person who was truly, willingly keeping me safe.
