I slept without dreams, only brief glimpses of things crossing my unconscious vision. As I lay there, my eyes squeezed shut, I could vaguely remember them:
Harry, during a time that felt like forever ago, telling me that I was so much more than an obligation after I'd fled from my flat when Seth had come for me. Harry and I when he had pleaded with me to visit my mother and we were sitting in front of her grave, his deep voice slowly telling her tombstone how wonderful I was. Harry when Zayn and I had found him during a meeting with Sykes when he'd pushed me back onto the couch and kissed me.
They were good memories, times when things weren't simple, but they were easier to deal with and live through. Things were bearable now, but I wondered vaguely when I would snap.
My thoughts trailed to the events of yesterday. I had been so terrified that Harry was going to get hurt. My concern was for no one but him, despite the fact that he had stressed that he wanted me to put myself first. I didn't seem to be able to though, especially when it came to him. The idea of anything bad happening to Harry was impossible in my mind. I couldn't process it.
And then I remembered what I had been doing prior to the shootout.
It was as if some switch had been flipped within me. I was suddenly flinging myself from the bed, tripping over the warm blankets in my haste to reach the door. I could only hope that Harry hadn't located--
"Going somewhere?"
I froze, the duvet falling from around me as my entire body stilled at the sound of Harry's voice from behind me. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights as I slowly revolved on the spot. Harry was leaning against the window, his arms folded across his chest. He sported all dark clothing today, just as I had expected, and clutched in his hand was...
"You found it," I mumbled, averting my eyes immediately to the ground. I didn't want to see what his expression was. I didn't want to see the hurt or the anger or the disgust or even the pity. If I was about to get some big speech on how I was being irrational with that note, I didn't want to have to stare up into Harry's dark eyes the entire time.
"I did," he agreed slowly. "You were planning on leaving me?"
I began to shake my head. "I was doing it for--"
"I don't care why you were doing it," Harry spoke dismissively, and I could hear the anger laced in his words. "But why the fuck do you think that it's okay for you to leave me?"
I frowned, finally looking back up. Harry's expression was furious, livid just as I had pictured him to look. His eyes were like charcoal, glaring heavily at me. "I--"
"I can't leave you," he spat, his feet slowly guiding him towards me. "But you can just pick up and leave me?" He was stood in front of me now, leaning over my shorter form in his fury. "Tell me, Alice, how the fuck does that make sense?"
"I-I was trying to protect you," I mumbled out. I was thoroughly intimidated by Harry now. He loomed over me like a tower, and paired with the fact that he was nothing short of absolutely furious, I was scared. I shrunk back against the door, my back hitting the hard wood, yet Harry just continued to stalk forward.
"I don't care what your reason was!" he snapped angrily. "You were trying to leave me."
"You left me." The words fell from my lips carelessly. My mind didn't have time to catch up with my mouth before they were already out. My eyes widened in horror at what I'd said, and suddenly I was gripped with a terrifying fear at how Harry would react.
"I left you?" he snarled quietly under his breath. "Ifucking left you?!" His voice was suddenly echoing through the room, his anger rising just as his volume did. "I betrayed you and I hurt you, but I waited for you to come back! I waited for weeks and you never came! I had the boys check on you because I wanted you to come back to me, but you never did! You left me!"
