NSFW

This is My... Bellamy

"I love you."

Bellamy's eyes widened and Clarke didn't know what to do, she jut let him in, let him know how she felt and it was terrifying. She keeps handing the power back to him when he gives it to her, she wanted to have the power, she wanted to be in control for once in their twisted relationship.

"You do?"

"Yeah," she breathed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? Hell, why did you push me away?" He was angry and trying to suppress it, she knew it and she knew how he got after that but maybe she could amend it, say it again and have him know she truly means it.

"Because I love you, not the guy who fucks me with abandon, but you."

Bellamy smiled and Clarke thought it might be the most radiant smile she's ever seen. She loved him and she wants him to be happy. She wants him to be healthy and seeing Echo will help him with his mental health and his anger, she can't help appreciate the woman who can help him where she can't.

"Kiss me," she said at a whisper. She wanted it, she didn't need it. It was out of his comfort zone.

"Clarke—"

"Did they do that? Is that why you don't want to?"

"Partly. It's the intimacy, I don't know how to do that without making it all consuming while tearing your clothes off."

Clarke laughed, "It's usually a slow progression from making out to groping to tearing clothes off and foreplay and then sex. Sex we both enjoy. Not that I didn't enjoy it but you didn't. You weren't present, you were exhausted afterwards, but you weren't there. If you want to try this, Bellamy, we can but we're going to start slow, work our way slowly up to sex. We're going to be dating, Bellamy, that's how this will work. Actually I dislike formal dates, I like staying home and ordering take out or cooking together, spending relaxing time together to get to know each other, it's what people do."

"We're not normal," he smiled and the elevator doors opened and there were a ton of people standing waiting to get into the elevator.

Clarke and Bellamy walked out and headed outside to where the car was waiting for them.

"That's what you want?" he asked when the car was pulling away from the curb.

"Yes."

"Okay then."

"'Okay then'? Bellamy, this is a discussion, not me demanding something and you giving in. That isn't a relationship either, what do you want?"

"I want you to move in. I want to put a ring on your finger letting the world know you're mine. I want—"

"What?"

"I want to watch your stomach grow round and full with my children inside you," he said looking at the floor of the car and Clarke grimaced at his shame, taking his hand in hers.

"Don't be ashamed in what you want, Bellamy. I can't promise that, but what I want usually comes before what you want. We are incredibly unconventional, but, like Echo said, if we communicate with each other, we could do everything we both want in whatever order we feel is right for us, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I feel like I'm ready to move in, I tell you. You want to ask me to marry you, you tell me. We talk about it and make a decision together."

"I can't surprise you with a ring on the beach?"

"Neither of us go to the beach except on that date."