NSFW

Tell Me You Love Me

Clarke sat in the sun, used to Bellamy opening the umbrella to protect her from the sun, but he wasn't there and she didn't know how to work the new contraption he insisted on buying because her skin burned after five minutes in the sun and he preferred her pale over being a tomato.

She couldn't stop thinking about how he doesn't want to marry her, how she's too broken, how he couldn't love someone who couldn't bear children. Not that they've tried for kids in years... or at all.

"Clarke?" Miller called, shaking her out of her head.

"Hmm?" she blinked up at him.

"It's time to go."

She nodded. "Bellamy?"

"No," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

Licking her lips, Clarke stood to get in the car to go to the airport for their book tour. They're starting in New York. "Okay."

It took Miller until the flight took off to ask her, "What happened?"

"He doesn't want to marry me," she said still in disbelief and it's been two weeks since he told her—yelled at her.

"What?" Miller exclaimed as though it was the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard, but Clarke heard Bellamy correctly, he doesn't want to marry her.

"It's what he said."

"You—that night you two were fighting inside, that's what it was about?"

"Yeah."

Miller didn't say anything and Clarke went back to reading her book. "No. no, I don't believe that at all."

"It's what he said. 'I don't want to marry you.' I couldn't make that up."

"And he's been living in Octavia's apartment annoying the crap out of them and torturing himself with their newlywed bliss because he doesn't want the same with you?"

Clarke shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it. I want to go on this book tour and talk to the studio that's interested in making it a movie, try talking them into a series instead. I don't want to talk about him this month, okay?"

Miller nodded, pulling his laptop out of his bag, "Okay."

They landed at LaGuardia and Clarke breathed in the crisp autumn air, thinking about what she's going to say tomorrow. What she'll tell her parents tomorrow when she sees them for dinner the second night of New York press, which was a lot. She and Miller were in New York for three insane days doing a full press junket going to every news channel, every late night show that was there and it was going to be fun with Miller involved but still nerve wracking. They've done it before, they can handle it.

"Clarke, can you stop for the night, please? We're supposed to be looking at Octavia and Lincoln's honeymoon photos," Bellamy said in hushed tones in Octavia's kitchen.

"I can't ask you where you want to honeymoon? We're getting married in eleven weeks."

"I—"

"I think we should go somewhere unexpected, Thailand, Samoa. Oh! Maybe Papua New Guinea!"

"Clarke..."

"We shouldn't just honeymoon, we should—"

"I don't want to marry you!" Bellamy spat and immediately looked guilty. "Clarke, I—"

She shook her head, it doesn't matter what he says to justify that because he doesn't want to marry her. "Whatever you're about to say to justify that," she swallowed, pushing back the tears quickly pooling her eyes. "I want you out of my house, I was happy, Bellamy. I was looking forward to the future, a future with you and you don't want that, so get the fuck out!" Clarke stormed back out into the backyard and plastered the smile on her face for Octavia and Lincoln, genuinely happy for the couple she dreamt of calling family.